I'm not going to die yet, though I'm not sure about that, life is short for all you know. Ok, I don't mean to be morbid but I'm just going on a little domestic trip which is actually more for work. Well, not really work, it's also fun. Yeah fun, duh. Fun like going on little island tours, discovering isolated beaches, snorkeling trips and possibly shipwreck diving. My bicycle might board the bus too. Though I'm not really feeling fun at the moment. This is just all for my little project that has been going on forever. In case you guys care, I would also be celebrating my insignificant existence in this vast universe, luckily it is not the usual diabolic Friday the 13th. No big deal, I'm just older and grumpier. Spare me the whole cosmic joke. With all the choices I made, I've already destroyed every possible life I might have lead. Everything was nothing but a dream. Paraphrasing Fitzgerald, thirty-five, a promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning brief-case of enthusiasm. I'm all for it.
I haven't really exposed myself to the world since I came back from my journey, so I'm not sure if I'm ready to face 'the world' again. I think I have practiced the lines in my head enough during my hibernation process in case I need to go to war. Actually, human beings are the least of my worries. It's my cat that I'm more worried about. The problem with misanthropy is that you don't have anyone left to trust. Now what? Who is going to take care of my baby while I'm away? Now I need a bot. So instead of being excited about my trip, I feel worried and sad.
You don't know all that Feliz and I have gone through together. He has always been there for me. Always. For better or for worse. I can vividly remember how we started out with nothing. I only had a bed, Feliz, and his littler box. But you know, he helped me build my life back. No one was really there. No one. Because I'm a terribly selfish human being. Feliz somehow eased the pain of isolation and loneliness. I learned to love something. I learned to love. He had seen me broke down, laughed crazily, danced while getting drunk and all that craziness prolonged solitude can do to you. I don't even know how is it possible to survive alone for a long time. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence as Sylvia Plath said. I can imagine how hard it must be for anyone. Because it really sucks to be alone, sometimes, it really does. But if you want to invent something great, that's the only way. I thought I was on the verge of getting insane, literally, but luckily Feliz came to my life. Thanks to him, life has never been the same. After all these years on earth, I now realize the pain of leaving something/someone. I do have feelings.
I don't mean to be so melodramatic because it might just be for a week or so. A lot can happen and I might even extend. My life is a blank page waiting to be filled. I just want to come back and my cat is still there. Still there for me. I owe him for the companionship. I want to come back for him too.
As much as I would like to travel with him, I think I've already exposed him to the shock of moving to different homes. From the shelter to the old apartment and to my new place. I think he needs to stay in a familiar environment now. He's just a bit needy unlike other cats, I showered him with concentrated love. I think the feeling is mutual. He knows when I'm out biking, he waits for me, not just for food, he just likes when I'm there. He doesn't want to be alone too but he does not like other people. He runs away when there are strangers around. A man after my own heart.
Feliz can't be home alone for sure so I might just look for a cat sitter or someone to trust. Someone to trust? I don't know. I don't even know how he's going to survive when I'm gone, like gone.
That is a sweet looking cat. You can often times trust a neighbour if you offer to pay them a little bit. The theory is that you know where they live and you were paying them... it makes them hard to duck the responsibility you gave them.
You can always just leave a huge pile of food and a few big bowls of water if you can't find anyone trustworthy. Your cat might be a bit upset, but will forget soon after you get home.
That makes sense. Thanks!
No problem! On a side note, that comment up there ^^^ was my 500th posting on this platform! Milestone!
Yey, congrats! It's an honor to be your 500th post lol.
I can almost tell by the way you typed that, that you are very excited for such a milestone. ;)
My cat Balam (Mayan for "jaguar") lived about 17 years. She lived free to come and go as she pleased in a rural area and was a great huntress and explorer. We took her camping, too, as she knew how to follow us in the woods and stay around camp as needed (very smart cat).
In her last few months, Balam mostly slept and ate little as is typical. But on the day she died, that morning she followed me down when I went to get the mail, something she never did. When I turned to look at her, she stared into my eyes as if she was desperately trying to tell me something. In my fancy, I believe she was thanking me for letting her live her life free to follow her destiny. Then she went off to lie under a favorite bush, where I found her passed away, later that day.
Perhaps in the end that is all we can do for our fellow beings on this planet. Wish them will and let them follow their own Tao.
Quite a sad story! ๐ But Balam lived a good life!
True words.
Feliz can live at home if you keep a lot of cat food, milk and other food ingredients liked by feliz at your place. If you don't want that Feliz live alone you may render the services of your neighbors.
You are showing affection with your cat. We are immortal. even orphan child grow without parents. This world give us lesson how to survive in this world. keep sharing @diabolika
Yeah I'm gonna ask a friend to drop by every day and see if Feliz is ok.
This is a great idea to give homely feeling to cute Feliz. Offcourse He will miss you. All the best:)
If you could travel back in time do you think youโd like Columbus because he sailed across the ocean blue?
I already don't like him lol.
I make a great housesitter since I gave up all the weed and booze, and....
If you can manage not to let scorpions, spiders, cockroaches, and centipedes into my house, oh and green serpents too. It's a diabolic place.
Good thing I didn't pick up that baby scorpion, I thought it was some thread or Feliz' fur lol. It is cute though.
I'm enough of a Buddhist not to have too much aversion to such things but as you know there are no guaranteesโ about anything in a diabolic world.
When I read many of your posts, I'm not sure whether or not I should laugh, cry, or shake me head. Perhaps all three are in order...
Isn't is funny how we isolate ourselves and then rue that very isolation? And yet, we enjoy it. We revel in it. And we disdain it. It's all wrapped up together...
Feliz is such a sweet boy. I'm glad you have him in your life. He will be just fine: that's the best part about cats. And as another comment stated, he will soon forget the absence once you return, although he may give you the cold shoulder for a day, or so, before forgiving you. We have to give him that small indulgence now, don't we?
Have fun on your travels, and don't forget about us...
Not the first time someone told me this lol.
We always want what we don't have.
Anyway, I'm fine with the cold shoulder for a day or so.
what a beautiful story my dear friend @diabolika
really you are looking so beautiful, and cute your cat, thank you @diabolika for this post
Awww, thanks! ๐
Excellent funny post my dear @diabolika thanks for share..
Nice
What a cute kittie...how many do you have @diabolika ?
I only have one.