Feminist attackers, misogynists - this is not for you. Don’t even upvote. And also, this is not a man-hating post. If you are a man with a sister, daughter, girlfriend or wife - this is your problem too. For those women who are traveling alone, learn from my experience.
Suddenly I’m so eager to write this as “it” happened to me once again on my way to the coffee shop. I just have to voice out my feelings as I couldn’t take it anymore. I would like to raise awareness with regard to this female dilemma once and for all.
So far I have posted the advantages of long-term travel but I kept repeating that “travel is not a bed of roses”. I’ve been through a lot of hardships and excitements during those 4 years of living and traveling abroad. Some privileged travelers brag about how they traveled to x number of countries in x amount of time. But I’m always into more in-depth and meaningful experiences, taking my time in each country to know more about the culture and the local people. Most travelers also glorify their travels too much and have forgotten to write about the behind-the-scenes, that there’s also a downside to it. I mean the long-term benefits are great and those life-changing experiences can never be taken away from you. However, if you are not prepared or mentally strong though, you won’t be able to survive out there, on the road, alone...
Catcalling also known as street harassment is a widespread problem that bothers women from all over the world. I mean it happens everywhere, but probably worse in developing countries where there’s more “machismo” and lack of education in some areas. Don’t get me wrong, I’m having this problem in my own country even before I traveled. My reaction and my feelings about it just got worse as I’ve traveled. It went from a minor annoyance to a stress-inducing situation.
Walking alone is the best thing for me to gather my thoughts. I like to walk alone in the woods, on the beach or just stroll around the park with my thoughts far away from the present. I have always preferred to be alone. Perfect company or perfect solitude. I have traveled alone and walked for miles and miles.
Unfortunately, there are some men out there who will do anything to get your attention, especially if they are in a group when they feel their power more. When there’s a woman walking alone on the street, they call her names, catcall her and yell at her all disgusting things just to get her attention.
Pathetic.
God knows I’ve been followed and harassed on my way back to where I was staying in Cusco, Peru (which will be explained in great detail in my next post). I have been followed from the pier to my host family’s place in the Galapagos, Ecuador. Cars and trucks will pass and shout something at me. Enough is enough! Why can’t I just go from A to B peacefully without being sexually harassed?
The average-thinking people answered me with:
“Oh it’s your fault, why do you dress that way?”- (Yeah right, it’s my fault because I’m fuckin’ irresistible, blame the clothes.).
“This is the culture and it’s just the way it is!” - (This is not culture, this behavior should not even be accepted as part of the culture.)
“It means you are attractive and you should take it as a compliment.” - (Shut up! If you really want to compliment someone, maybe approach that person nicely and introduce yourself properly. I’m not a snob. And also I don’t need your compliments.).
So you see, women are in this “damn if you do damn if you don’t” situation. Your feeling of being creeped out will just pass alright, but then it will happen again when you go out and walk on the street alone, making you vulnerable again. And even in broad daylight, you will be catcalled. Too bad for single women, as we always have to walk alone without a man on our side. I mean, don’t we deserve to be just as independent and as intimidating as the male species.
The usual solution I get from my female friends - “just ignore it”. Don’t react and don’t give them the power. The more you give them the attention, the more they will like it. This is what I have been doing all my life, but the feeling gets bottled up and it’s bad for my health. You just ignore it, and sadly the issue will go on. The society will just allow this to continue, conditioning the next generation that this is how it has always been, it’s ok to be degraded, disrespected for being who you are.
God know’s I’ve already done everything to reduce the stress or even fight the issue (these could be dangerous for women if you are not careful), talked to the guys, shouted back at them, just ignored them, threw rocks at their car windows, earphones, walked like a Muslim with a jihab, walked like Grim Reaper. It also doesn't even matter what you are wearing, being fully-clothed only makes these men more curious, leaving the rest up to their imagination. He will find a way to picture us naked regardless. They say it depends on how women take it. Some just allow it or see catcalling as a compliment. I’ve seen a girl walking alone and being catcalled in this small Peruvian town, I was surprised to see her smiling and seemingly enjoying it.
After some time, and with all these bad experiences on the road, I would love to travel with someone or with some friends too. But traveling is not part of the culture, and all my few friends I want to travel with have moved on with their lives or they just have a lot of excuses not to do so. The others just wouldn’t be able to adapt to my traveling style.
Of course, I’m just a human and not a non-feeling AI. I felt like it would be nice to walk out there with a strong-looking man by my side, and those idiots on the street can shut the fuck up. Yes I understand, you guys can empower us. But this is not the case, yet. I didn’t stay in a country for a man nor did I follow a man to another country. I went back to my home country with a lot of things to do - start-up projects, work, writing for steemit, recuperating from the trauma etc.
Raising this awareness can bring all women together. Instead of this usual competing with each other, women can help one another in fighting this issue. It’s a big social problem now and men too should be aware that being objectified on the street is not ok, catcalling is unacceptable and it’s just making women feel more unsafe.
When nowadays, women should be empowered, independent and could travel alone without worrying about being harassed. Some women just keep quiet because they think it's normal. By educating the world that this is a manifestation of sexism, we can say no, it's not normal anymore. It’s an alarming issue that will affect our daughters, sisters and the future generation who do not deserve this. Now that we have the tools to educate people and raise awareness, we can change things. We want to change it... of course, we want to change.
If you have experienced the classic examples of catcalling or street harassment, let's raise awareness and spread this article. We could probably promote the category and blog about the issue.
Related:
Thanks @diabolika for raising awareness. I agree, there is no place for this type of behavior!! Bravo!!
I travel to the Caribbean alone often, and never have this problem. You shouldn't have it either!!
Following you as well!!
Yes, I want to travel and not have this problem anymore!
Thanks for reading.
Great post! I can understand how you feel, and I have been in numerous situations where guys think that you are out there walking to drag their attention, catcalling etc... Gonna resteem your great post. People should share awareness.
Thanks, this has to stop!
Agree!
Very inspiring adventure and insights. As a man travelling alone sometimes, I don't have such problems. It's good that you keep on raising awareness about this !
Yes I know, thank you so much for understanding the issue.
“Oh it’s your fault, why do you dress that way?”
“This is the culture and it’s just the way it is!”
“It means you are attractive and you should take it as a compliment.”
None of the above are true. The main problem is men are jerks and are taught to act as jerks.
This has to stop. It is our obligation as fathers (and mothers!) to remove this behaviour from our culture.
There is another option... for that I would recomend the book "The Gate to Women's Country" from Sheri S. Tepper. I have it in ebook format to whoever wants it.
Marvelous post!
Thank you for going back to this post @ nestorpiresfilho. Yeah, this was my experience in South America, not all the time though.
But yeah, sadly this is everywhere...