As i sit here,
a monument in history, a timetable of a vast time , i reflect on my foregone youth and how things have changed. When children grew up thinking the policeman were there to help, as with any adult stranger. when you walked down the street and everyone either knew you or that you're so-and so's friend. when the ice cream man would still give you an icream if you were just short a nickle. when you had to be home when the street lights came on or be inside your friends house and be calling mom to see if you can stay for dinner. when summers were spent outside all day playing in a sprinkler or just with the garden hose. when digging for worms to feed birds, or chase your older sister with. I remember being proud to wear hand-me-downs, either from an elder sibling or close neighbour, because it ment you grew. When the worst thing that could happen was being ill when all your friends weren't on a sunny day, but seeing your best friends at your bedroom window talking to you because your mum said you cant have visitors. I remember mum making a menu set for the week, usually a cassarole midweek and leftovers after that, and not having a choice of meal or special catered meal, it was always "eat what you get or dont eat".
My childhood was spent outside, either with friends or on my own. when we lived in Turkey, i was alone alot, yet i was still happy. My imagination grew, my bubble about the world popped and everything bursted out and i was overjoyed. I emersed myself in the turkish culture, made new friends, lernt a new language...all at the age of 7..
I would watch for dolphins in the bay, or old men trying to fish. sometimes I would just walk. walk for miles without even knowing how far i went, but yet i was safe. 
I never met a stranger, and everyone was so kind. I was the little asian girl that lived at 1020 mithapasa,
whose father worked at the NATO headquarters. But that was not important to me, the position of my father, what was important was the fruit and veg man who let me help him spray the produce with water for a free applke, the corner store keeper who'd let me sweep the store and help put stock away as he helped me speak my turkish. being able to watch lucky luke films in the open air cinema across the street from our balcony...this usually ment i got to stay up past my bedtime. I cherished the cafe waiters who would make me sit down with them and hay cay on the way to the park. and every sunday walking to the bakers for fresh ekmek and gevreks
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Tears swell as my memories begin to fade. I repeat them in my head like a broen record in fear they too will be lost. My Turkey is a forgotten era, my turkey is but a memory that a child remembers and a old lady struggles to hold onto. my youth and my dreams began and ended in turkey, where i lernt to be independant adventurouse and alive.
Bu benim Türkiye’m, bende yaşıyor
Akciğerlerimde hava olduğu sürece Türkiye içimde yaşayacak. Türkiye, dünyayı kalbime kabul etmemi sağladı. Türkiyeli türk türkiye
This is my Turkey, it lives in me,
as long as i have air in my lungs Turkey will live inside of me. Turkey set me free to welcome the world into my heart. I am turkey, Turkey is me