There is one thing that differentiates Western from Eastern cultures quite profoundly, and it is… the smile. Having gone around South-East Asia for half a year, I often hear Western travelers say “wow, people here are so friendly!” I would like to bring this perception into relative terms — maybe you’re (still) right, but maybe not to the extent you think you are.
Can you elaborate on that?
I can understand the traveler’s first impression. Walking through the streets of Chiang Mai, Luang Prabang, Penang or any small Javanese village, you get smiled at a lot. In Western cultures, the causality of a smile is quite straightforward: Liking or kindness leads to a smile, so if you would see someone smile at you, in most cases you’re right to conclude that people like you. In most South-East Asian countries, however, a smile isn’t that monocausal and the reasons for a grin can be quite various.
What are possible reasons for a smile? Here are some, ordered by likelihood in my personal observation:
- Common decency. In most Eastern cultures I got in touch with, it is perceived polite to smile. If people don’t, something may be wrong. Surely, Myanmar, Laos and Indonesia are among the top countries here. Bottom is India — people, for some reason, don’t smile and if they do, it’s much more subtle.
- Insecurity. Sometimes you get overwhelmed by a situation or you don’t understand what the other one is asking for. Might as well just smile over it.
- Liking, kindness. The smile you would expect.
- Something like general inner happiness, which then is a more permanent smile, without a necessary "target".
- Business or personal interest. A smile makes you more likely to hire a taxi, probably.
People would just smile at you every time you look at them. Looking through European glasses, it can be a bit confusing in the beginning: “Do they think I’m a superstar? They really seem to like me!”
It is for the subconscious part that I consider it as a very positive cultural trait. Let's look at it from a psychological perspective — being smiled at does have an influence on you. Having traveled around South-East Asia, people tell me I would smile a lot more (you probably wouldn’t believe how little I smiled before). Part of that surely comes down to the mere exposure with a culture when if you don’t smile, something seems wrong. I am curious for how long I can bring this new habit back into the Western world. Cultural programming is strong!
So… what’s the takeaway of this short issue?
Sharpen your sense about smiles and… smile more! Of course, distinction isn’t as sharp as the reasons I mentioned above, and it is more often than not, when you're simply returning a smile, you could turn an insecure into a genuinely happy smile, or maybe even into laughter. Make it a habit, and sometimes you would find yourself in a positive mood without consciously knowing why.
