Wow. God bless you abundantly for handling this in the best possible way @surpassinggoogle. You are an encouragement. I am glad to see this pics.
I tried something that worked for me during the loss of my Dad
Take care of yourself. Be a little more gentle on yourself than you usually would. Take extra time to relax, try to find constructive distractions, and shut down any self-criticism for now. Though you might have a cause to worry and be sober to care about your own well-being, it's important to get at least seven to eight hours of sleep, eat three healthy meals a day, and to get at least 30 minutes of exercise per day. It's likely that you'll be in need of energy because of your loss, and keeping your body in order will help you not feel so sluggish.
Of course, sleeping and eating well won't help you forget your parent completely. But it will make it much easier for you to go about your daily life while dealing with your loss.
Just felt like sharing a heart to heart talk on what might make you feel better because it worked for me. God bless you with more wisdom and strength to move on.
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Every you have said here is weighty. You are experienced and this will work for me as well same as it did you. I watched the whole death process and there is loads of criticism, i do feel i did nothing and have done nothing much for her when she was alive but Jehovah is bigger than our hearts, so i won't let that eat me up. As for rest and health, i need to restore that. I have never had any of those. Relegated life and all its goodies for years, so that my next whisper in my parents ear upon seeing them next will be whispers of good news. I thnink this was the year but i only saw my mum after close to 5 years for 16 days and the entire 16 days was turmoil-some. We never got to speak of anything much, like the future etc. And on the last day, everything happened so so so fast. Stay awesome