I remember when I was hanging around in my hammock
When this dreadlocked German girl came up to sit outside with me. She had just arrived in Vietnam and her friend invited her here to volunteer to teach English.
She rolled her own tobacco and also made me one as well.
It tasted so wonderful compared to the cigarettes I was smoking then. She told me she was trying to quit smoking, and wanted to give up her tobacco, so she gave it to me and I was so happy to have such a treat.
We talked about what we wanted to learn during our travels.
I told her how I couldn't do this kind of me at home. I couldn't feel free to be who I wanted to be when I live in America. She told me about all her beautiful memories in Germany and how she absolutely adores all the people in her life. About her daily routine and how wonderful it is to be in the city.
I had practiced a sense for people who protect themselves in their persona, because I am definitely one who defends my weakness more often than I should.
Therapy helped me break down my walls that protected my shame. And when you've opened your heart with daily practice, you can sense when another person is willing to do the same.
I knew in my gut there was something massively heavy in her heart, and my drama-seeker was on full throttle.
She is such a kind and beautiful woman that really makes the world easier to love. I wanted to experience more time with her. So I decided to travel to Sapa with her.
We got to know each other by listening to our Spotify playlist.
We had so many wonderful stories to share with each other about our past travels. We started out as strangers and became passionate friends who really listened deeply to one another.
I think even in the beginning, sexual ambition was always on my agenda.
It wasn't like that for her. This made me upset and frustrated. I wanted to love with every sense I could, as a thrill seeking gambler would all-in his bankroll just for the moment of risk. She let me know that it would not happen, and I felt the ugly me wanting to leave this person because I didn't get what I wanted.
I couldn't run away from this.
She had given me her undivided attention and love for everything that I am. I wanted to learn and practice commitment. I wanted to be a person like her. How she loves all her friends. How each person makes a part of her life extremely wonderful and she shares her stories with them to the world, like when a song track is so good we want everyone to hear it.
I decided to practice having friends and not destroying our friendship over ill-conceived romance.
We decided to drop our bags at a homestay in the centre of Sapa, rent a motorbike, and go on a road trip with my hammock.
We were really unprepared for cold weather in Vietnam.
The camping idea was still up for grabs, but finding shelter was incredibly difficult sometimes because it was raining a lot.
Our first night was really spontaneous and we were incredibly lucky.
We were in the middle of the rural parts of the loop, and the sun was setting very soon. We found a farm and decided to ask the residents if we could camp here with our hammock. We tried using Google translate and they were still confused. Then she drew a picture of us, and a hammock, and a big question mark. They laughed and agreed to let us stay.
My German friend doesn't eat meat.
And most of Vietnam and their cuisine has meat in it. Even the soup has bone broth. Or fish sauce. Everything had some animal inside the food, so it was incredibly difficult for her to stay strictly vegetarian.
I had to practice saying tôi là người ăn chay which means "I am a vegetarian"
So they possibly would understand no meat. (I found out later when I told my Vietnamese friend what I was saying, and she said the way I said it sounded like I was telling people that I am her older brother) The family kept insisting by putting the meat into our bowl. So out of love and gratitude, she had ate the meat.
We had spent time with the local farmers and slept in the hammock under a clear night sky. Filled our bellies with yummy food and rice wine, it was quite an amazing first day on our random road trip.
The scenery in the mountains are breathtaking.
Being above the clouds and being in civilization is still a new concept to me. We drove a total of four days to complete the Sapa loop. We had found inexpensive homestays along the way the rest of the trip because it was getting super cold and rainy as we motored on. We made some more friends at the homestay we stayed in. One woman there could speak a little Thai, so we were able to communicate a bit better. They took us karaoking and I think we were so terrible that they left us in there. We all came out and drank some more. It was a strange but extremely memorable time.
On the way back to the city of Sapa, we were hit with dense fog and rain.
She wanted to learn how to ride and my lucky day was today. Her first driving session was a downhill, rainy and foggy, mountain flies galore driving experience. She did surprisingly well and kept us alive. I took over after a bit, but in the very end, we were definitely at our limits.
My hands were freezing cold. We were both drenched from the rain. Shivering and really wishing for a warm shower. She started singing and I joined in. We laughed like madmen and made this horrible weather super fun to be in.
96 degrees, in the shade~
We finally made it back to our guest house.
Had a warm shower and a hot bowl of Pho. I felt so happy that we travelled together. I felt like the romantic love craving went away and our playful love grew and grew. We really enjoyed being with each other, and decided to travel to Ninh Binh together as well.
We have lots of adventures together and I feel like one post won't be enough. I think I'll break them into series that I write once a week. I really miss my friend, and I'm writing to share with you all how awesome she is.
Thank you for tuning in :)
This is such a sweet story. I love the little things that made it memorable for you, like the sketch of the hammock and the question mark ... I too have stories of travel friendromances... so lovely to recall. I have a few hilarious stories of Sapa I should share one day. X
Please do! Those mountain folk are interesting for sure. I saw one tall German guy swarmed in the city after buying one handmade bracelet. I'm overjoyed that you have found happiness in my story :)
They are. We went with the blue Hmoung ... they hadnt hosted before and their accomodation was a loft in a hut and we slept on bamboo sticks next to roosters. We got very sick. Jamie went to fetch some water and he accidentally knocked the tap off and had to plug it with his thumb for ages until a little kid came along and j mimed at him to get someone so he didnt lose the water... funny. It was so muddy. A crazy adventure.
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