Heh. Alas, no conspiracy in this. It's a general policy that all rental car companies have adopted to protect their assets--they can go after a major credit card company if the vehicle is damaged or lost much easier than they can go after a bank. Therefore unless you live in the same zip code where you're renting, and most of the time not even then, you can't rent using a debit or prepaid card of any type.
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Wow. Cash wouldnt' work either, then.
What a world!