Losing you felt like grasping for smoke,
trying to hold what is fast gone.
I still looked for you
in all the old places,
in the memories of car rides, on walks along traintracks and riverbeds. Things that we shared.
People said you were gone
but I still looked.
How could you be gone?
You were just here.
They said you might never be back, that I would have to live with it.
This must be some kind of trick, I thought.
Where did you go?
The question burned in my mind
for days, it was torture:
the question I could not answer:
Where did you go?
Somehow, I felt you still around
but I could not see you.
I wanted out of my body; to be reunited.
"You'll just have to wait", people said.
What do they know?
And then a stranger to me, agreed and said "yea, what do they know?"
And for the first time since your passing, I felt relief.
Original Poem and Photo by TheMorningBowl