We live in a society that celebrates and idolizes “success.” Yet by definition, there can only be so many folks that are “above average,” which sets large majorities of us up for unhappiness or feelings a bitterness.
As humans, always been a species of strivers. Today, instead of hunting to find food our drive manifests itself in more refined ways, but the instinct seems to be the same.
High aims are not achieved without high ambitions. One does not wake up a great surgeon or artist at random. Achievement requires years of hard work with no guarantee that we’ll make it.
And this idea of striving doesn’t just take place at an individual level. It is deeply embedded in American lore. This is a country built by ambition, hard work, and innovative persistence, so the story goes.
Part of this is good. The more of us who strive explore the full range of our potential, the better. Yet, there is also a worrisome downside to this, as well as a more modern twist.
As columnist David Brooks points in his book, today we’ve come to value fame above character. Again, were this preference for fame universally true (thankfully it’s not), mathematically we’d be left 99%+ of people feeling like “failures.”
One response, which Brooks advocates, is to instead focus on character traits. I for instance keep a list in my phone in hopes of drawing upon them when I face an important decision.
Another challenge this fame-obsessed phenomena presents is that it can be very dangerous for our own self worth and confidence. Personally, I still struggle with the tension of pushing myself, but also not being too hard on myself.
To put this in perspective, I came across writing by an investor, who’s writing about companies and the stock market I found instructive. In his book, The Success Equation, Michael Mauboussin astutely makes the point that we are very bad at differentiating luck vs. skills.
All we can do as individuals is focus on building skill and process. If we do this and come up short, we should be comforted by the fact that luck is outside our control. If there’s nothing else we could have done, we should go easier on ourselves. Should we work hard AND get lucky, perhaps then knowing this we should try to remain humble as we know it just as easily could not have been.
the post is very good
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