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Maybe Bob doesn't even exist and we just made him up to distract people about something else entirely.

If that was true, how would Alice and Bob communicate? Read any book on cryptography and you will know that both Alice and Bob are real.

Maybe Alice is Bob.

Maybe Bob is the apple and he eats himself out of guilt.

What's an apple?

Only the apple knows. We are merely observers.

I like apple pie, but all I seem to get is humble pie.