The issue is through our damaged filters in our brains the "disease" can still be seen. That "out" remains a possibilty.
"I know I took a drink/drug but I'm an alcoholic/addict and I am sick."
You aren't sick. You don't have a cancer, a virus or the flu. Those things are thrust upon you and you are not afforded choice.
100% of addiction is choice. It is very hard to see this side of things until you change your thinking. Take control. You and only you are in control. It is hard at first. So hard. The addict brain will be relentless with you but you can silence it.
It will tell you that you need everyone under the sun to beat it and let's be real, if you are anything like I was there aren't too many people left willing to fight for you. That leaves your addict brain something to cling on too.
It will tell you that you are nothing without it. It will remind you of the time you got high just before that job you scored or the test you passed.
It will remind you of every single thing you have ever done wrong at the most inconvenient times. This usually happens when you should be sleeping and it won't shut up until you forgive yourself for everything.
It will sneak in little momentary feelings of the high we can remember so easily without the addiction's insistence. Believe it or not, at this stage you are actually starting to have the upper hand. This is the addict brain's last ditch effort to suck you back in.
It sucks and sometimes I literally talked myself through it a minute at a time. Every time I got through a craving the next one was easier to get through. They got further apart and I started to sleep again. A sober brain needs sleep to heal. The drug or drink of choice had your brain in constant motion for the length of the addiction. It never shut off. It was constantly seeking to make you feed the addiction that was sucking the life from you. Once you start to sleep good again your brain will start to heal itself. Synapses will start to fire that develop in the healing brain. Do something with that brain! I swear when you get to this point you will find your gift; whatever it is that you exist to share with the world. I believe I was able to recognize mine because I was finally in control one hundred percent.
Notice I didn't say boldyour addiction or boldyour drug of choice? I did that knowingly. You claim that addiction as who you are when you say such. "My name is ____________ and I am an addict." No my friend, "my name is _____________ and I'm battling addiction." Make it the enemy, don't own it.