May we know why your brother backed out? Though regardless of that, there is a reason for everything. And you have the choice whether to take it positively or negatively. I certainly suggest you take the former. Who knows, a better option is coming your way. And, stressing yourself over something beyond your control will not help but just worsen the situation. You're still breathing and had the energy to come to Steemit. So cheer up instead!
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You are right. Ironic. I have been telling myself that this is just a disease. That I am still breathing and that's what's important. However, when my donor backed out, everything just fell apart. It was just so hard to digest. My sister texted me that my little brother backed out. I did not know what to do. I just opened steemit and wrote everything swirling inside me. I was at the office so I have to hold back my tears. God, help me. Thank you for this.
I don't mean that you be naive about it but again, it does not make things better that you keep fretting over. Take a deep breath and hope for the best.