"You are savage, damn you are pretty savage, you are unbelievably savage".... Savage, savage, savage. Wow this is what people termed me to be lately.
As I grew older, I took the part of cutting out some folks out of my life which is because, not everyone is ready to make a change but instead they are negative influence in your part. I have always loved to live a stress free fun life, and most times I feel bitter when surrounded by people with "Negative Vibes'. Possibly becoming the savage termed person might be the best solution to fee myself from this.
But, really what's so bad about cleaning up your life and removing all negative influences around you? The benefit are immeasurable. First, you live up to become a better person, secondly you have a lesser garbage to carry about.
Is it easy? No, it's not, do you have to make this decision at one point in life? Yes. Everyday we are faced with challenges an d problems ranging from our environments, humans in general mostly our closest friends and relatives. All this factors can sometimes hinder our goal and vision for our chosen to be future.
Being alone and out of reach has taught me the value of appreciating oneself, but it placed a huge gap between me and my environment. I no longer have the free expression to startup a conversation other than, Hi, Hello, How are you doing?, fine and you and that's all.
This makes me perplexed and sometimes feel like hitting my head on a hard rock of graphite. I have lost all personal relationships except from the few which is "Family".
From being a "jolly" people termed me to be to becoming a "Savage" people termed me now. Many people have moved on from where I placed the distance between myself and them and some have forgotten I existed. I started feeling depressed and emotions starts to embody over me. The feeling of being different from your circle keeps taunting me, but sometimes being different is cool, but being different and not connected isn't the very best.
Looking back in time, have I realized I have grown in age. And I am like "Gosh you so old in age now". Having spent two decades on this planet(Earth). Mhen this hasn't been easy, I am truly thankful to my creator the maker of life and everything around it. But I didn't play good in the role of connecting the dots in living up to the course of my existence.
Growing up as a child was fun and adventurous, but along the line it wasn't as sweet as honey, because now I am embracing adulthood. And this will always pass through my mind an d all I wanna do is just go back in time to start afresh.
Sometimes remembering the soft coldly wind you breath and the beautiful presence of the deep blue sky. Keeps me at ease when thinking about all you have gone through as a child. Everything was working out just fine, when back then I wake up as early as 6:00AM, prepare for school, pick up my lunch box and head up straight to school. This has always been my daily routine, for I love being around people. But when I started out as a teen, probably I must have given into the life of being a teenager. Keeping people away from me.
Everything was working out just fine,
You know back then, we do save a lot from the money we receive from our parents to school, but now things have changed. Even while working we don't still keep enough for our very selves. What went wrong? Nothing really. All that changed was, no more Mum and Dad daily, weekly or monthly allowance. Now we are locked up in the chains of adulthood.
I just missed being me, the little me, the cute me. The always open minded me. I just miss being around my parents.
I Just wanna say thank you to MUM for every new present, or "DAD you are the best" for gifts he got for me.
And I finally I wanna be able to connect the dots together. To live a fulfilling stress free life.
By Anita Irene