It's incredible how strong of influence peer pressure has on us. On a daily basis we do things because that is what is socially accepted and we fear of being labeled as an outcast.
If you disagree, then just think about school or work, and count silently how many things that are you doing there every day because that is the social norm - where do you spend you lunch break? who do you talk to? how do you behave?
I think now you get my point.
Conforming to peer pressure and striving to be part of the tribe around us is a behaviour developed through evolution, in the not so distant future surviving alone was next to impossible and people created social norms to have a code of conduct that uses each member of the tribe in the most optimal way. If you didn't like it you had two options; first to suffer quietly abd conform, second leave the tribe and probably get eaten by a ferocious beast on your first night alone.
Today the situation is completley different, there is need to fight everyday for our survival, yet we give in to the pressure of the tribe because it is built into us.
This long introduction is to explain one of the biggest challenges in sticking to a plant based lifestyle and that is peer pressure from the people that surround you, especially at the start when the change is still fresh and you are still vulnerable and can be pressured into a choice that is agains your principles.
When I finally became completley plant based, my friends started looking funny at me and saying all kinds of remarks like You need meat to get your head straight or the iconic real men need to eat meat, it hurt and I wanted to feel a part of the group.
The desire to feel part of the group, and to shamed for choosing otherwise pushes people to make decisions that are against there principles. Someone who is exploring veganism can feel left out, alone and ashamed for his choice. This is very evident when a vegan child is in an old fashioned family and is being pressured by everyone to eat the godamn turkey at thanksgiving.
Luckily, I always had a strong resolve and I knew that my friends and family, if they truly want to be a part of my life, will accept me the way I am.
And here lies the big secret in dealing with peer pressure.
When someone wants you to conform to his norm because he thinks he is right , he really isn't treating you like a person of free will, that is not an act of love.
An act of love is my mother learning and preparing delicous vegan foods and deserts every time I visit.
An act of love is when my meat eating wife checks for vegan options before offering me to go to a restaurant.
The point is very simple, would you stop associating with someone because he eats meat?
I know that I don't, even though I will say my point of view if someone asks me I will still remain someone's friend if he isn't vegan.
And so will your friends, if they care about you and want to be your friends they will accept you as the person you are vegan or not.
So get your strong resolve on and get ready to hear some critique but remember it will pass and people will get used to it, and if someone has a problem it is their problem not yours.
Thank you for your time.
With love.
Eugene
How apt. I just got finished writing a post to answer an ecotrain challenge question for the week, and it so happens that my answer was very much in alignment with your point here.
I frame it differently, but ultimately the issue is that we “go along to get along” instead of living our live according to our own experience of truth. It takes a lot of courage to live in integrity with our own truth, but if we do, we ultimately benefit ourselves and everyone around us.
Exactly, being true to who we are is the way to go and if someone loves he will accept us exactly the way we are. Thank you for sharing yoir point of view