Found: Desire to Better Oneself
Been a long month or so famalam. Lot's of ups and downs, pain and heartache, but most importantly the realization that I've got the desire and will to repair the relationship that I damaged. Not so I can get back/keep what I have lost, but so that I can show and reassure her that the man who stands before her is a decent one. I'm working on being the man I should have been, throughout our marriage, rather than making up excuses and lying for the one she's had to deal with recently. The love of my life lads, and I really screwed the pooch this time. From here all I can do is whine to strangers online, and try to show her I'm a husband she can be proud of, who still loves her as fiercely and dearly as the day we said I do. For the time being, it's a bittersweet sting to swallow my pride and be the friend she needs, but I've honestly learned more about myself, and enjoyed getting to know her over again in a way.
Treasure the ones you hold dear, dudes, because nothing and nobody is promised. Hearing "I know" when all you want to hear back is "I love you too" is more shitty than I care to admit. But hey, here's to hard work, self improvement, and the future. Wherever it takes me.
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