"How do you reconcile "I don't want you dead" with "for those who break the rules there are consequences"?"
The legal system has a number of consequences for those who break laws. It might be a fine (ex. speeding ticket), a warning (ex. perhaps for smoking near a grade school), it could be incarceration (ex. unjustified assault-battery), restitution (ex. paying someone for their window you broke while playing baseball), and could be execution depending upon the state (usually for premeditated homicide). For criminal acts, please remember it can be a jury of peers, not 'government' who decide your guilt (the option is up to the accused). This is our system. We created it because we didn't like the colonial system of England. So we (the people) created a new one and also defined the 3 branches of government to run our country.
To validate justification of the U.S. Government, we would need to discuss the history of our national origins, dating back to before the Revolutionary war. We became a self governing body, which the King of England really didn't like. Borders were defined by our self-governing representative bodies and neighboring countries. The rest is, as they say, history. Kind of a unique history . But self-governance, via deciding the structure and voting for leaders, is not entirely unique. The ancient Greeks, well some of the city states, did something similar.
The concept of rules based on location is part of our daily lives. When you walk into a church, are the rules different than at the 50 yard line of a football game? How about in an airport versus a shooting range? Do you establish rules for guests of your house (take your shoes off, no cursing in front of the kids, no food fights, etc?). So there are many precedents we all embrace. Same for borders of countries. Each can set their own rules. You choose to cross the border, you are subject to those rules.