Lol, I love this post, the humor in it was hilarious.. I once fel a victim to the wet wipes, but could quit before I was completely hooked! 😂 and about a year ago when I lived in a community for 2 months, there was only the choice of a sort of bum gun like you explained but, this was in a more primitive setting, a self build compost toilet. First I couldn't picture it, how is this better, I thought to myself. I found the idea of not using toilet paper disgusting. After awhile I changed my mind completely! Now I find using toilet paper disgusting! The magic of the bum gun is beautiful..haha😂