I’m sure that wheelchair people have heard all sorts of crazy shit from people in their lifetimes. People ask them dumb things, and say dumb things to them. I may even have said some of those things.
But stupidity is not exclusive for people in wheelchairs. It also goes for men who date women in wheelchairs. And I, as someone who has dated a woman in a wheelchair, have heard many things…
You can google top 10 things not to say to someone in a wheelchair and get a lot of results.
But no one ever talks about those who date people in wheelchairs. So I’m going to put down the top 5 dumb things I’ve heard…
So here’s the top 5 things not to say to a guy dating a girl in a wheelchair…
I. How do you have sex?
Don’t worry about it… I’ll let you figure out why this is a dumbass question…
II. Omg she’s in a wheelchair? I want to meet her!
WTF? You never wanted to me any of the girls I dated before, so why this one? It’s because of the wheelchair? If she wasn’t in a wheelchair would you still be excited to meet her?
No you wouldn’t!! So stop treating her like a freak and STFU!
You want to meet her? So do all 20 of my friends. Make a line, single file, and wait for your name to be called!
III. Dude, it’s not going to work out
How the f— would you know that? I know you can’t date someone in a wheelchair so why the f— would I care about your opinion?
IV. Did you bring her to your parents??
I’m going to explain this from a Chinese perspective…mkay? My parents are not as forgiving as me, so they’re not going to accept her. And I’m not interested in adding more drama to my life…okay?
So don’t f–king say the P-word! STFU!!
V. You should carry her up the stairs!
First of f–king all, this shows how little you understand about wheelchair people.
Obviously they’re not all the same, but most of them are very prideful. They don’t want to be seen as helpless or whatever. So even if you see someone in a wheelchair stuck on a rock, and offer help, their default answer is no thanks, they’d rather do it themselves.
They want to show the world that they can do everything that “normal” people can do. So they don’t accept help easily.
So carrying them up the stairs if they’re not willing is a bad idea!
Your "mkay" reminded me of this
Good reading :)
Thanks lol
This is a great post! I've never heard advice on this subject. It's really great to get perspectives that I've never been exposed to before.
Thank you
Well written