Paulo Coelho
Chilling Rain
The fact Marilyn is alive now didn't change the grief I felt when Marilyn died back then. I know for some, the idea of past lives is liberating― but for me, I can't get past the graves.
I felt incredibly depressed and desolate reliving those emotions over again.
I think Cindy knew what I was feeling―I hoped she did, because at that moment I couldn't articulate it― it was far too much for me.
"You're okay, you're safe." She kept repeating the words over again like some calming mantra.
Well, believe me, It wasn't working. I felt sick and shaky as if I glimpsed behind a door that should never have been opened and now had to go through the horror all over again.
There's a reason the ancient Greeks believed you had to drink from the river of Lethe, of forgetfulness, before you could be reincarnated, and I'm proof of that―if you drink from Mnemosyne, the other river of remembering, you gain omniscience.
But who can bear it? I can't. That's why I shunned these flashbacks from the very beginning.
"You're trembling," she whispered, "It's cold and rainy. Come sit by the fire and I'll make you a hot chocolate. Do you want something in it?"
"No, please," I croaked. "How about coffee?"
"Sure, take your time and calm down―we don't have to talk about it, Laird."
I nodded. At that moment I didn't know if I could discuss it...coherently, but a question was nagging at me and I wasn't sure if I should ask it.
A few minutes later Cindy returned with two mugs of coffee and croissants and black raspberry jam.
"I didn't know if you were hungry," she explained.
I eyed the croissants. "I'm sure you'll eat them if I don't," I laughed.
"Of course, can't let them go to waste," she smiled, nibbling on one already.
I wished I had her stability. I always seemed confused and conflicted.
"I'm wondering what happened after Marilyn and Joey died."
"You closed up and refused to talk about it."
"But what happened to us― to our relationship?"
There were tears in her eyes. "I was collateral damage. You went away to university, to Cambridge. I never saw you again."
I was shocked."I went to Cambridge?"
"Yes, you had a scholarship. You never came back from England."
I put down my coffee mug and stared at her. "I don't know what to say, Cyn. I'm really sorry."
"You're apologizing to me for a past life? Really, Prof―that seems ludicrous."
"Not really. I appear to be the same person. I went to Cambridge on a scholarship in this life― that' s what started me on this house whispering business. I kept having strange dreams and visions and ten years later found out the residence where I stayed was built on an Anglo-Saxon graveyard."
Her eyes grew huge. "That's incredible! You really are an old soul― you go back centuries."
"And since our fates are entwined, I suppose you do too."
The realization dawned on both of us we weren't simply a repeat of a past relationship―we were twin-flames, soul mates, bound together throughout the ages.