Dear Amanda... It's around that time of year when we first met.
I've written you at least 3 times a year since you "left" and no matter how busy I end up getting I hope I can be able to do that the rest of my life.
I just checked and it looks like the last letter I sent was right after a few major discoveries I had.
Since then... It's only become more amazing.
I've been on somewhere around 40 different adventures since then and I found at least one interesting, fascinating or amazing thing on every single adventure.
I've put in a lot of effort and I often get home exhausted, sore, bloody, injured, sunburnt, almost out of water and thankful to be alive.
The last 4 adventures I got rattled at by rattlesnakes and there's some other serious stuff I'm suspicious about that has me concerned, though it could just be my imagination.
I hope I live long enough to share it with the world!
And... After we release the movie, I plan on making a YouTube series.
I had given up on YouTube for the most part, yet... After finding some of this... I'm gonna give it another shot.
Whether or not I'm able to develop much of an audience or eventually make any money out of this is not the driving force, at this point I just wanna share what I've learned and I guess we'll see how much people value what we've done.
By "we" I mean I've got some support from family and one of my friends and some of them went on a few adventures with me, though for the vast majority of this I've been out there alone in some sometimes seriously dangerous conditions and... I think that says a lot about how passionate I am about this.
I became obsessed and addicted with this, it became my life... However, I've found enough now that I feel no more pressure to find anymore.
I still want to find more, though... It's okay if I don't I'm mostly at peace.
These last couple days being in the present moment has really sunk in and I'm kinda just like in "bliss" a lot of the time and it's amazing how good life can feel especially after being so depressed for so long and thinking I'd never get out of it.
I'm so happy and grateful to just exist and spend time with my parents and eat good food and enjoy nature and lay in bed and rest... Life is really positive for me right now.
This is already getting kind of long, but... I'll finish by saying that I still don't have any romantic interests in my life.
That being said though I now believe that I'm more ready, worthy and valuable as a person than I've ever been.
Even if I don't have the money some people do, I've now done things that make me feel accomplished and fulfilled in life and like I have nothing to prove to anyone.
I'm not only "good enough" I'm a rare gem in this world and deep down I knew I was a rare gem before all of this recent revelation.
Now... Combine my good heart with all this other stuff and... I'm going to be quite a "catch", especially if I do end up making some good money.
Speaking of that I also want to become a tour guide and pretty much everyone I've told has said they think I would make a really good tour guide! So, between that and everything else... I'm pulling myself out of the ditch I was stuck in and I'm gonna do my best to enjoy the rest of my life and hopefully even do some of those things I've wanted to do since I was little like have a family.
Whatever the case... Even if something tragic happens and I don't get to do what I'd like to do... I'm just so endlessly grateful and happy that I got a chance to live like this and experience some of these kinds of things. :)
I feel like I'm finally truly alive and living life and am in much more harmony and alignment with the Universe and the "natural laws" so to speak. It feels good to just simply exist.
I hope you're doing as good as possible where ever you are, I miss you... I love you, and I look forward to seeing you again in my dreams, in reflections of nature and the divine and when it's my time to join you in the next dimension. So much love always. <3 -Apollo
