It is difficult to take an Historical figure and make them feel real. I think you did a nice job of doing just that with Elizabeth. I could feel the loneliness, and the desire for a real friend on her part, and the excitement and enthusiasm of a younger man's interest. A shame it is probably Dominica. A very real and nice edit on this section, I think you accomplished what you set out to do at the beginning of this edit.
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Thank you. It was an 'on the fly' kind of thing. As I was researching, I found pieces, (especially speech) that worked well in this. It helps that she was such an enigmatic figure.