Ah yes, those are some gems! I have kept some of my old notes from various gigs, just to save the funny bits.
Back when I worked in IT, my friend Arjay (who was "technically speaking" Indian, but was born and raised in Texas) would occasionally break out a thick Indian accent and exclaim "A thousand pardons! I am standing here beside myself!" when he'd forgotten to submit some part of project... and then — just for effect — he'd add "Y'all..."
My ex worked for an insurance company and said some of the things they saw on claim forms were every bit as funny as some of the web memes that have done the rounds:
"An invisible tree appeared from nowhere, collided with my vehicle, and vanished."
Uhm-hmmm....