Only love will achieve that you have the tranquility that your heart needs, but the denial that invades you is greater. I do not know if the desire for revenge will be stronger than your willingness to start a friendship.
I hope you do well in the appointment with Madeline and listen to the therapist that what you need is to take a powder and you will really be rezzed.
Think about what you would give the robots more use if taking lives or saving them.