You say you are hopeless as a visual artist - that's your biggest limitation right there! Perhaps that mindset is your only true limitation to creating visual art.
Personally, while I am drawing, reading or writing, I prefer either silence or non-lyrical music (usually classical or jazz, sometimes electronica) because I have a lot of difficulty focusing on my work with noises competing for my attention in the background. In my younger days, however, I had to have some kind of background noise, as you mentioned your spouse does.
As far as becoming more mellow with age is concerned, I agree for the most part. I still sweat most of the details - because that is the way my personality seems to be built - but it's getting easier not to internalize the negativity that can be a part of said sweating. These days I try to focus more on absorbing the lessons of life (rather than the despair), which frequently leads to enthusiasm and renewed vigor.
I'm glad we could exchange these ideas also! An intelligent conversation with a stranger isn't always easy to come by 😤