My first post on steemit happened about year and a half ago. At the time, I saw the possibilities of future posts floating above my head in a glowing fog, ripe for the picking. Since then, I've only published one other post. Though I keep up with the community, I have found it almost comically impossible to get my own stuff out there.
Why is that?
I once did an exercise of writing every single day for a year. At times this felt a huge hinderance and at others it felt very restorative. After the year was up, I had a thick book of memories to show for it. But something about this journal of mine--loaded with grief, joy, and everything in between--started to rub me really wrong. In fact, I wanted to be nowhere near it. I realized the impossibilities of writing truthfully. Even if just for myself.
There is a power in words and record keeping that has more consequences than I could have thought. Just as a photograph begins to take on a body of its own, re-defining the moment it was captured, and storing that moment visually in a single image forever, writing can also transform the ways in which we remember. My memories of the year I wrote every day are almost entirely defined by the words I employed, the mood I was in, and the experiences I chose or negated from the journal. It's like I wrote the year into my own personal film to be watched and rewatched. My own writing felt like a voyeuristic on intrusion on my own life. There are some interesting parallels to the somewhat exposing nature of the blockchain here...the inevitable permanence can feel daunting. The private and public spheres swarm together in a series of secure transactions that are ever-persistent. Anyways...I digress.
In the time since that exercise, I almost never write to preserve--only as a tool for processing. And usually I discard the pages once I have found resolve. I certainly don't remember as much--in fact, much of my time feels lost in clouds that occasionally part ways and reveal bits and pieces at a time before closing back up again and revealing something else. But that's okay.
As a current college student, I write all the time. I have pages and pages of discourse on anything from Sufi lodges to curatorial critiques. I want to be intentional and I think sometimes the vast sea of information online can be damaging (which is something the curatorial nature of steemit addresses well). Even so, writing-- be it public or private--feels inherently performative. I don't think there is any getting around that. I have a lot to say but I'm still learning how to say it and how to say it responsibility. So here's to the future of maybe posting maybe not--but at least striving towards living and acting honestly.
--churning out some academic noise--
Any thoughts or advice on the matter? I'd love to hear how you approach writing, publishing, and negotiating with permanence and memory.
I would suggest joining The Writers' Block on Discord. We help writers find their feet and their voice, editing and critiquing work to a publishable standard.
word! Thanks for passing along
I've been spending 18 months here producing stuff, mainly my thoughts on things pretty openly, stuff that I want to read back again sometime in the future. Understand what you're saying, basically too much thoughts, sea of information and all.. I guess the only real way to do it is to write notes and really take time to stitch things up and edit. Sometimes I take more than 24-hours straight just to write 1000 words. After publishing, I keep reading and editing before the 7 days (at least, on Steem atm) until I'm satisfied that it's what I really wanna convey. But of course, we change down the road, and some stuff no longer applies when we read back.
All the best!
Yes taking time is something I need to work on...usually the words come in a frenzy and that is how they remain. Thanks for sharing.
Lose some sleep! But maybe a bad advice lol
Welcome back @glamdoll! So good to see you here =)
I can relate to your struggles with writing. I've long wrestled with the written word and all the presuppositions tangled up in everything, it's paralyzing sometimes. I guess the only antidote I've found is to loosen up and accept that I will never be able to write the truth because the truth is beyond this coarse language. That might sound nihilistic, but I think it's really liberating... for me it frees me from the inner judge, and allows me to produce 'art'... if I think of what I offer as 'art', and not some final word on anything, it's much more liberating. Experimentation and art, rather than trying to pin some ineffable idea to the page. If I take this perspective, it frees me to create. Believe it or not I think this approach also applies to critical thinking and critique or analysis... it's just that you allow yourself to be imperfect in your expression, and for anyone to point that out to you, and just say (write) it better next time. I'm still working on it, but this is my new general theory of unhindered expression.
I think I've just inspired myself a little bit... ;) And your post here was inspiring too! Having a hard time writing, well... write about that experience! :) brilliant! <3 b
Yes yes one million times yes!! You've said it exactly. Looking forward to taking the page as a loose conduit instead of strokes of certainty. Liberation from the absolute is something you've shown me well @lovejoy !