musings on an early sunday morning

the superficial pleasures that cater to the masses will soon lose its appeal.
one day, we're going to start asking deeper questions,
search for more meaningful ventures, and ultimately,
capture the essence of being a higher being.
selflessness, sacrifice; a phoenix rising from the ashes.

nothing is impossible. just believe, believe in yourself.
believe that you are capable of achieving the best and only the best.
no one is allowed to dictate your life.
be who you are. don't be afraid to show yourself to the world.
accept the fact that no one can ever be perfect,
which in hindsight, makes us that much more beautiful...
knowing that we are humans.

apply a suitable philosophy to life like your moisturizer.
constantly administering it so that your core is stable.
you are not easily shaken. you are strong.
in times of doubt, seek the light within you.
it might only be a flicker of light. or it might be a passionately burning flame.
whatever it is, look for it and it will guide you to what is right.

there are many times when we just want to break down and fall apart.
we let our guards down. we disappoint certain people.
we hurt certain people. we show our weaknesses.
we fail. we are not at our best at all times.
we become vulnerable.

aimlessly floating in this insane universe, without a purpose.
we seem to be passing back and forth, not being able to stick to one side.
we are young. we have our whole lives to figure out which side we'd like to be on.
but then again, maybe we don't need to pick a side.
maybe this is all just an illusion.
an illusion that we try to quantify, qualify; to put meaning.

what if this trip is not what we think it is?
maybe it is meaningless. maybe it is just a coincidence.
something that was put together spontaneously.
no plans. no outlines. no measurements.
just a fabulous idea that popped out of someone's mind suddenly.

that is the wonderful thing about our trip - the unknown.
we remain curious, we continue to live, we keep trying.
we lose ourselves sometimes, but then we give our best shots at regaining our sense of self again.
there are numerous tools that help us along the way too.
the people who we connect with, the people who we have feelings for.
the people who have feelings for us, and the people who will always be there for us.

i start to wonder - why are we attracted to certain people and not others?
why are different people attracted to different things?
is this part of our body make-up, predestined by our genes?
i choose to believe that its the unknown factor once again.
we can attempt to decipher this riddle for years.
or we can just live and savour the whole experience.

when we start analyzing things, we begin to lose the big picture.
we become so obsessed, compelled, and... ugly.
we should act upon our desires of the moment.
do it when you want to do it.
because who knows what might happen the next second.
hesitation is caused by a shaky core.
when you want something, you go for it.
those unexplained impulses might be gone once the moment has slipped away.

emotions(love?). another unknown factor albeit an extremely powerful one. one that causes wars, one that heals the greatest pains; one that ignites passions, one that destructs relationships. they are uncontrollable. we might be able to disguise them... but they are almost always there. you can't escape from emotions because they are a part of you. just like how you can't really escape from yourself.

at this point, i believe that we should have faith in ourselves.
prune ourselves to be better people, not perfect people.
remember, phoenix. transformation from time to time.
we are reborn into this world, creating a more sublime environment to live.
peace, happiness, love, and occasional conflicts that cause us to be reborn into the world again;
consequently contributing to the grandeur of life.

our young hearts are ignorant. our minds not fully developed.
but then again, will they ever be fully developed?
it is our choice to widen our world, our scope, our vision.
with a little help from our imagination, we can explore all the unknowns.
expose yourself to a variety of things.
seize. experience. experiment. progress.

growth and maturity - such delightful matters.
how many delirious nights we've had, engaged in frolics.
the amount of boys and girls we've skimmed upon;
some we've tried and abandoned. others we've kept and released.
the saddest thing is not being able to release.
because nothing new will ever come in.
the phoenix may never be reborn.
the world becomes a more tragic place.

learn to release. never cease to learn. and learn to accept.
you might never get closure. no one is ever guaranteed a closure.
the process happens in your mind.
you are the man behind the wheels of your thoughts.
unconsciously, consciously, subconsciously.

i am terribly sorry if i hurt you in any way.
it is by no mean, an easy way out for me.
i should have been more sensitive of your feelings.
it wasn't my intention at all, i am sorry.
i just hope that you will forgive me.

honey, i only do casual with mutuals.
mutuals are everywhere. they are accessible and perhaps, people who fill the void in my heart.
but truth is, they are only enlarging that void.
i realize that you are more than a mutual.
a beautifully sculpted face, alluring body figure.
but most importantly, the way you treat people.
that's the most seductive gesture ever.
respect, class and intelligence - how much more sexy can you get?
it is strange and confusing.
i hope i'll figure this puzzle out. but maybe i don't.
maybe i prefer this whole thing to proceed as a puzzle.
oh - the mystery of such cases.

if you do not reciprocate, i am willing to learn to live with it.
it is all about choices. sometimes, we just don't want certain things.
for many reasons. or lack of. just do it beautifully and tastefully.
and nevertheless, we live on. much more opportunities await us.
if one day, you decide to come back for me,
we shall know if it was all meant to be.