This is wonderful. I often get carried away with solitude too. Sometimes I just want to buy myself in an anthology or just plug and go on a mindless trek. In those moments, I learn to be happy by myself, to pat myself know things well done and wonder why I make wrong decisions.
"Is my need to reflect in this way selfish or self love? "
That question pops up when my friends see me all along and decide to "help out". They understand that I embrace loneliness but they feel I'm depriving them of my time and warmth.
Honestly, I haven't found a good answer. But like you noted, "There is also a lesson in knowing that maybe this is a time to step back and let myself recover and heal. To let myself acknowledge silence and pain, winter and peace, to allow myself that long drive in the hills at 2am. To trust that I am worth loving."
Good post
hahaha the helpful friends. I wouldn't mind so much. friends are meant to be cherished :}