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Which do you desire more? To live the life you cite? Or to die, void of everything?
We are sometimes oblivious of our purpose. We inspire others unaware.
We all have a purpose and loving death only inhibits us from experiencing self revelation.
Please reconsider this suicide thought process.
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I want to share something.
The wealthiest people are often ones that are content with very little. They need the least.
To attract friends, romance, one has to sometimes fight inside themselves to be in awkward or uncomfortable scenarios. This is ok, I justified it by the opportunity for self growth.
Realize that you have an ability to write, and that in the last month you changed habits. How fortunate that is, many cannot escape their grasp. -WILL
You are young, I assume. Get to know yourself. Know what root is. Know what makes you tick.
Become comfortable with silence.
Change the most problematic roots. I call this digging for treasure. Because it takes much energy, and consideration. But your working on yourself. Small things eventually lead to big changes.
Please dont take this as condescending. These are some things I had to find in a journey myself. Perhaps they may help?
Anyway very glad to hear, that your not going to do it. Very glad.
Inspire others with your writing! Use your experiences for greater good!
Peace
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