It's great to meet a fellow author here on Steemit! It's a really horrifying story you've shared, it painted a lot mental images... I like how you incorporate pictures in your stories and I must admit that I've learnt from that... I plan to start putting pictures in my stories too 😀 It improves the experience. Thanks.
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Thank you and you're welcome.
It's better to put spaces between paragraphs here on Steemit, but not necessarily on other media/platforms. It helps the eye to not get overwhelmed - as does a picture between to break up the text.
Good Luck!