This is so good! I don't have answers to ANY of those questions, and I love that. Specially since I can't form an answer even now, having read all of it twice. Sure, thoughts form on my mind but I can't give them shape yet. Sounds like an awesome theme for a discussion.
Scrambled thoughts and all, I think the main point of the answer is somewhere around here:
In the end, it's all about expectations. And about how you define things, how the world in which you place your characters is organised.
Since we create our worlds (in literature, at least) we can also shape the point of reference, directing the definition of what we create. Although even if that's true, it feels like the questions still demand clarification...
I look forward to reading your further posts relating to the matter!
I'm also wondering what I'll write next, but I guess that's the only type of writing I really like, while exploring thought, not by making a point. Psychoanalysist would say that is one of the main differences between the male and female attitude towards life. Hmm. Maybe that is something to write about next ;)
Thanks for your encouragement to keep thinking!