She loved, oh how she loved.
But somehow she always ran far from the fear of never loving. She wanted nothing more than to be rewarded for loving recklessly not with running, but returned love - reciprocating all the things she always knew but couldn't say.
She was mute within her mind.
She wanted to run far away from it, but it was inside her - not something she could leave behind. She thought if she moved herself the love would be left behind, forgotten in an unknown location like a left-behind glove on a subway seat, or an umbrella leaning against a dampened wall."How do you forget feelings?" she'd contemplate. Surely it was possible. "Is it possible to numb your thoughts? And what would happen if you never learned to feel again? If that hurt were the last feeling you'd ever have felt?" Some nerves that sever never reattach... she shuttered from the memory of a TED talk she listened to once upon a time. She jostled the questions in her mind. Her favorite place to play, but also the place she was most terrified of.And she wasn't a girl who scared easily.
Nighttime and rodents and heights and roaches, dark alleyways did little to stifle her assuredness and constant certainty of self. But her own mind was a pleasantly exciting and terrifying place. She once determined her relationship with her own mind were as if it were an abusive lover, the highs were high and the lows were low - a silent, invisible, and never-ending rollercoaster that lacked a station to stop, get off and walk away. And she always rode alone, the solitary thrill seeker in an empty amusement park. Sometimes she'd glance left or right, attempting to catch a glimpse to see if any people were even there on other rides. But It was always too sharp a turn or too long a tunnel to determine."Uncertainty..." she firmly believed "...must be the worst truth of all."
All writing and images are original works by me.
View more of my poetry on Instagram and my design work on my website
contest. If you guys win, you get to split the entire post payout 50/50! For another chance to win, consider nominating another underrated steemian to share the spotlight with them!Congratulations @itinerantartist! You've been nominated by @pragmaticpassion (for being an awesome, but totally underrated steemian) to win some $$$ in my
I like the imagery of the mind lacking a station to get off at. Especially when so many things are put in place in life to try and be that station, so to speak. ie yoga ... meditation ... therapy ... Valium lol
thanks:) the idea actually was part of a dream i had last week. one of those "wake up in the middle of the night and try to capture what the heck was happening in the dream" moments. and I'm glad i was able to because i really like the imagery it creates. <#
Excellent piece. I'm a fan.
thank you so much. your words mean the world to me, and its what keeps me encouraged to write more:)
I'm looking for people I'd like to see in my feed when log on - your work is something I'd like to see. I'm upvoting and following - keep up the good work - Momz (the encourager)
every once in a while a person comes along on steemit and says such a beautifully sweet compliment in just a few words, and it brightens my entire day. today that person was you :)
Another great piece Breanna. :) Just saw your name today. ^^
I do hope that girl found what she was looking for.
awwww thanks dawny - i hope she did too, or does....
beautiful words indeed, the mind can be our biggest enemy and obstacle sometimes and you did reflect that nicely in your writing.
it is so true. thank you for coming here and taking the time to comment @digdaga . <3
this post for information about delegation. Make me strong!You got a 50.00% upvote from @smartwhale courtesy of @itinerantartist! Earn 85% Daily Payout by delegating SP to smartwhale. Check
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