“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.” - Marcel Pagnol
Don't ROB yourself of HAPPINESS!
......
I have always loved this quote because it is such a simplistic yet accurate depiction of things. If we are not happy then what is the point in anything that we do with our waking hours? What is the entire purpose of life, if not to embrace love and experience happiness?!
Yet every single day I see so many people cross my path and from what I can see of them in terms of facial expression and body language – many are apparently anything but happy. I often contemplate what it is that is making them feel that way – is it something specific and current that they are dealing with or is it just their lives in general that are making them miserable?
I hate bringing up negative news but this has been milling around my head for days now and I am so utterly confused by it. Recently, there was quite a horrendous murder very close to where I live. In short, a woman’s burnt body was found in the boot of a car. It was discovered that she had been killed prior to being put in the boot and set on fire and after further investigation it has been established that it was her husband that killed her.
According to reports, their marriage was not in a good place, and all of this I can understand and grasp. I get that perhaps they both had a lot of stress in their lives, be it emotional, financial, work related – whatever… but what I simply cannot process is how someone can be SO unhappy in a situation that they would resort to those measures? The murder was clearly premeditated which means a relative amount of thought has been given to it – and what boggles my mind is that if murdering your wife was a solution to “whatever problem/s” you were facing - this means that you have entertained the thought that things would be “better” after murdering her… HOW is it that if you could go through this entire thought process, how is it possible that you did not consider the reality of arrest and jail time?
Now, anybody who knows anything about prisons around the world will know that Cape Town’s Pollsmoor Prison is one of the most dangerous prisons in the world. So I fail to see how spending the rest of your life behind bars in there seemed like a better option than let’s say possibly… getting a divorce or at the very least a separation…
I know nothing of their personal lives so I am merely sharing my thoughts on the matter… my opinion if you will. It just seems to me that many people seem to sway either to one severity or another when it comes to dealing with the issues in their lives. They either do nothing about it at all… letting it eat away and destroy their happiness bit by bit or they flip right to the other side of the coin and resort to such drastic measures that impact the course of their lives forever and ultimately leave them riddled with guilt and remorse too.
The permanent impact which that decision will have on that family is so enormous – especially for the children because they have not only lost their mother, but their father too in a sense. Lets say the parents had decided to get a divorce… yes that would have been a huge emotional hurdle to overcome but at the end of it all, they would all have eventually returned to a place of happiness in their lives (most likely anyway) – and definitely more likely than now.
I think that more of an effort should be made to find a slightly more moderate approach to things - A happy medium that is perhaps a slower process, but ultimately renders a more fruitful result.
Life can be terribly stressful in today’s society and many of us walk around carrying burdens that are far too heavy to be carrying alone. Denying the weight of these burdens is not doing us any favours as the weight of them will only continue to increase until eventually we collapse. Expression and release of this baggage lightens the load and enables us to continue striving for a place of happiness.
Well, those are my thoughts on it anyway...
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
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Good morning, @jaynie.
It’s very sad news to hear. What happened near you is just terrible. If something similar had happened in the area I live, I would be shocked and devastated as well.
We don’t know all the details of this crime, we don’t know real reasons that led to it, we don’t know what the situation was inside their family, we don’t know what were the problems they faced. But I know one thing for sure: killing premeditatedly a living being is a mortal sin and nothing can justify it.
From my own experience I know how hard life can be: even if you are doing everything right, it can dip your head in a bucket full of shit over and over, non-stop, until you give up and collapse under the weight of it. I’ve seen it and experienced it. But I also know this: our life is the result of our effort and actions. It can be all unicorns and fairies, though generally, I see it as an everyday challenge or fight. And our happiness depends solely on us and how we cope with difficult situations and problems.
The only thing I want to add is that sometimes we need help from outside, from other people. In situation, when it seems that the whole universe is against you and you are about to lose it, we need helping hand to clear our mind and just make sure you won’t do anything foolish. That’s why we shouldn’t be selfish and should try helping others when they need it.
Sorry. My comment might seem patchy for you. But I'm shocked. I know that this happened on the other side of the globe to totally strange people. Nevertheless its just heart breaking.
Thank you for your beautiful and very heartfelt comment @moviebuff. There was nothing at all patchy about your comment.... you simply spoke from your heart.
Really appreciating work @jaynie
Have that positive mindset 😘🐳
This is very nice and true 🙏🍃🌼
Thanks hon xxx
I do not understand how intolerance can be carried out to destroy a person. My country is going through difficult times, recently a peace treaty was signed with an armed group and for many years we live events like the one that narrates, things are still difficult, people have a violent and strong mind. We have to work from our homes generating love, tolerance, respect and peace.
Good phrase by Marcel Pagnol.
Very well said @marpa :)
This is really heart wrenching. I feel deeply sorry for those kids. I think our present world has a misplaced meaning about happiness. We are searching for happiness in the wrong place.
Wow am his short of words. A husband n a wife. To do such damage to the supposed joy of your life. Is terrible.
Where did they miss it.
Mehn..... I'm just..... Wow
Yes, very sad indeed @t-flames :(
Thanks for this @jaynie. Very motivational and encouraging....
Sad to hear about the death of the woman tho.
The problem in life generally is many people enter marriage hoping to find happiness there forgetting that you're first an individual responsible for your own happiness before anyone else's. So at the end of the day, you find couples pouring out their unhappiness and frustration on their partners... It's a really sad one...
But asides that, there are so many sources and reasons for unhappiness, frustration too. Especially in the part of the world where economic systems/governmental systems are failing and you have to live/feed from hand to mouth...
So sometimes it's just inevitable.. The unhappiness or hurt just Wells up from a deep part of you...
But really... I'm responsible for my happiness.. Despite the discouraging situations around me and in my country as a whole...
Very wise words @kingernie. It really is very sad how society sways us and circumstance destroys us from the inside out. I really appreciate your input, thank you.
Thank you too for the motivation ma'am...
Great way to start the day...
Pleasure :)
Life is too easy and easy to survive. But we created it so complicated. Everyone should be spend with happy and get every moment any kinds of mind freshness... It's personally methinks...
I agree!!! People complicate things themselves! Thank you for your insight @imran18 :)
Mention not please
Remember to have fun along the way! Everything you're doing and thinking is making your day!
Thank you for sharing!
Too true @spellmaker!!! :) And what would life be without a little fun!!!! (or a lot for that matter hahahaha!!)
Allah has given you life it depends how you live you make it complicated or simple. You works hard or not. You achieve you goals or not it totally depends upon you.
I completely agree!
Happiness truly comes from within. I have learnt to enjoy the present and be positive about the future.
This is my shortcut to happiness.
Have a wonderful weekend @jaynie
That is a wonderful attitude and perspective to have @korexe :)
Most time we forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but by recognizing and appreciating what we do have. Its already within us, the major issue is knowing that its in our hand.
commonly known as.... gratitude :)
Very well said!
Many time people suffering frustration and happiness .Both together mixed life..
Genuinely Good work..! ! Thank You for sharing this on steemit!
We humans are a strange bunch: we can spend so much time planning and doing things (and justifying them!) that aren't helpful to us...rather than spend that same time and energy doing things that would benefit us.
Yip! Sad but true!