West Harbour ...Part 56 ...A Long Time Alone

in #writing4 years ago



I had a dream about you. It's been a while since I could remember any of my dreams, and still, this one has left me with such a strong impression. Even now, when I am fully awake, your face flashes before my eyes. It's a face I can totally relate to, as if it wasn't any more yours than it is mine. Terrifying thing, you know? I can't say I've felt that sort of intimacy with anyone. For a moment you knew all my secrets, without me even having to tell them. For a moment I even knew them myself…
― Aleksandra Ninkovic, Dreaming is for lovers



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I've been a long time alone and it's changed me in ways I can't relate to others. I'm just different.

That's what I wanted to say to Clare when we were sitting alone at her family's dining table, Clay and Sylvia having discretely withdrawn first to the patio for tea and then afterwards for the night.

Strangers in our flesh but lovers in our dreams. How was this possible?

I wanted to ask, without her thinking I was mad.

I wanted to say anything other than polite nothings but didn't know where to begin.



"Silence between two people can be profound," Clare said suddenly and I looked up surprised, staring into her lovely face.

"Yes, it can be profound," I replied, "especially if it's not for lack of something to say."

"I feel this tension between us, Marcus―it's not awkward, but more a sense of each of us harbouring secrets we're afraid for the other to know. Do you feel that?"

"I do, and I'd gladly unburden my heart because someone has to go first, but I was actually hoping it would be you."

We both laughed and the ice was broken.



"Can I ask you questions?" she whispered. "It might help."

"You may and I'll try my best to answer but honestly, I'm at a disadvantage," I frowned, lifting my wrist to expose my medical bracelet. "I may not know the answers myself."

"Oh, I see you're wounded too, One writ with me in sour misfortune's book."

"You read Shakespeare? Then, we have something in common―hopefully other than being star-crossed lovers."



A sudden silence fell like a shadow between us and I regretted having uttered the words. But she reached out her hand to touch mine. "Then you feel it too―I thought it was just me."

I was surprised there was no sudden spark or waves of heat from the gesture―not as I felt with Tess―just an inner warmth similar to the sensation of sipping a strong wine.

"Tell me why you felt you knew me," she asked.

That unavoidable moment had arrived when I would either terrify her or make a complete fool of myself, but I had come this far and there was no turning back.



"I know this sounds crazy but I've been having dreams all my life..." I paused because she was smiling.

She was looking at my medical bracelet.

"Okay," I sighed, "let me mend my speech less I mar my fortunes. Ever since I can remember, I've been dreaming of a certain girl...

and that girl is you."



I don't know what I expected―that she'd laugh, or throw a glass of wine in my face and storm out.

I had absolutely no idea what people generally might do because I had so little social intercourse with anyone.

My face was downcast, staring at the intricate lace tablecloth.

But when I finally mustered the courage to look up, tears were gently rolling down her cheeks and I was staring into the same sad eyes I saw at night, gazing at me from the foot of my bed.


To be continued…


© 2020, John J Geddes. All rights reserved


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Now you've put me back in the mood...

Ha ha...good to know, Alex. How are you doing?

Was going to reply, "Still kicking" then I remembered that when I used to slaughter my chickens, cutting off the head, it would kick around for quite a while...so since I do not wish to sound macabre, I'll say, "Still have my head on - and enjoying it"

Often, after reading your post and upvoting, I also give a vote to poshbot. Glad to see they are above the zero rep again...their attack when the bot does provide a service, I found unfair...especially as I discovered they have opened acccounts for us at twitter without asking us. I made an angry post about it and also explained how to block the stupid shield from hivebuzz appearing on the header.

Now, for something more pleasant: have you seen this site?

https://www.pagepublishing.com/free-publishing-kit/

Glad to hear you are still enjoying life, my friend :)

I was unaware of any internecine conflict between hivebuzz and poshbot. I suppose you hear about these things through hivebuzz? I don't know how to learn any news about Hive - I used to be able to find out stuff easily enough on Steemit because they had more communication with the community - Hive seems to me more decentralized but maybe I'm not looking in the right places and if I don't know after all this time being on this site then maybe the witnesses aren't doing a good enough job of communicating that. That's why I missed a week of posting because I assumed Hive was having technical problems after the hardfork. You seem to always find answers for my questions.

With regard to the latter, thank you for the info about Page Publishing. I'll look into it for sure - the thing that concerns me is their disclaimer re: Free but 'only a manageable investment on your part'. The way rewards are structured on Hive at the moment I doubt I'd be able to manage any investment other than powering down to take advantage of a Bitcoin price above $20.00 USD, lol

The Hivebuzz argument, of mine, only involved them. They stuck their badges over my heading in my home pages. I used an ad blocker to get rid of them and wrote them a stinker. About half a year ago I told thme to leave me alone and I do not want to be part of their badge nonsense (the owner had used his Rep to attack me because he disagreed with my warnings about ...to be honest, I can no longer recall what it was, but I had felt I had supported him and always upvoted his notifications about my badges...

Poshbot: I do not like the bot, but only because I do not like the person who created it. He is part of the same group who became very wealthy in Steemit but never, that I know of, helped any new posters. However, poshbot is providing a service for those who have an acocunt on Twit, so I do not agree, in prinicple, with them being attacked. Having taken a deeper look at their account, it seems something else happened, for they have jumped up into the mid0fifties, which should be impossible, from zero to fifty six within a day would qualify as a Dominion fake...unlss the Rep was just re-instated or there had been a glitch in the code. I do not know and to be honest, do not care; I did what my principles demanded of me at that time and that is enough.
:)

As for the witnesses communicating with us, when they want something, then it is oh so easy for them to contact each and every one of us. A simple bot does it for them. It seems the bot does not work that well if there is no direct gain for them... (makes me think of the olden feudal times, how often did the Manor bother to communicate with their tenant serfs? The funny (odd) thing is that I see more communication and gelpfulness on Steemit!!! I thought they were going to censor and crash the coin...but they are at the same level as the Hive coin.

Your comment about the Bitcoin price, it confused me. Is the Hive coin in some way connected? For instance, in 2017 the Steemit was connected and went from $1 to $14 when Bitcoin rose sharply. Yet now, Bitcoin is nearly at $19,000 and Hive is still at $0.15c. I agree, powering down for 15c is ot worth it.

I recently made a smallish investment in a Bitcoin trading program and my investment has much more than doubled over three and a half months ($200 to $460). Being a pensioner, I could not make a decent sized investment, but every bit helps. It gives, more or less, a return of 10% per month, which measn my monethly goes from $20 to $45 ) I will not touch it until I am earning over a thousand.... :)

I have stopped posting because I was about to strt posting Book 13 w, but after I reread and did some proofing, I decided to increase it from 900 pages to 1,000. I am a third of the way on achieving my target...

Nice chatting and...try making your own scones - I do and I love eating them without paying stupid prices for them.

I do bake although my wife isn't happy about it bc I end up buying more flour etc than I bake. I think all the crypto coins profited from the last Bitcoin rise but that was artificially created by speculators. I powered down and took advantage of it but right now I noticed the fees on Blocktrades were very high to transfer Hive dollars to Bitcoin - a supply and demand problem with only a limited amount of trades going through so I refrained from powering down my Hive power. Your analysis of the Hive community was amazing - I exist in a bubble and have no idea what poshbot, Hivebuzz or the witnesses are up to, nor do I care. I try to keep my head down bc some of my friends got burned that way - particularly @slowwalker and @sweetsssj - I just want a place to post my stuff and earn a modest return to pay for my on-line expenses and occasional small extravagances like a new laptop, security cameras and whatever other tech toys I would not usually spend money to buy.