Journal Entry 1: Why am I doing this?
Drindel is at it again, hammering away at me with his seething tone over this damn journal. I think he's serious this time. He says I can't "harness my talent" unless my thoughts are scribbled down somewhere. What the hell does having a diary have to do with acting? Hopefully you, dear journal, will have that answer for me someday.
So let's see... what to write? I guess I'll start with why I'm writing in the first place. I know I kinda already mentioned it, but to elaborate a little will help me fill this thing up faster. Well, first off, I'm paying an exorbitant amount of money to Drindel my acting coach. He's supposed to be the best in the city. For $5,000 a session he better be. I've been through 7 acting coaches already, and not one helped me land the right role. I'm running out of time. I'm young and pretty now but give it 10 years and people won't be so forgiving.
When you have a mind like mine, being an actor isn't a choice, it's something your born to do. My parents bred me for it. I've had an acting coach since I was 11 years old. They've given me pretty much everything imaginable to find my inner talent. To land that one perfect role that every actor dreams of. Drindel's my last hope. If he can't help me, my parents say they'll cut me off forever.
I guess he's nice. If you like that "I'm better than you but you're paying me so I have to pretend we're equals" sort of thing. I'm pretty sure he's got some deeply seeded issues, all great acting coaches do, but I guess that's what makes them so good. He's got me doing 8 scripts a day to help me practice. Some I have to do at least 3 times a day! Some of the scripts I like, I start to feel really good and confident about myself. The others are just blah, and there's one in particular I absolutely LOATHE. It's called "Zolpidem". It's absolutely unbearable. But I'm making myself do all of them because, if I don't, Drindel says he won't coach me anymore. I can't let that happen.
One script I am totally in love with. Drindel says I only have to use it one time a day, but secretly I've been doing it almost 7 or 8 times. He shouldn't mind, he never said anything about overdoing it, just that I have to do all of them. My last coaches ratted me out. I didn't follow through with their programs so he kinda knows my history.
I think I'm going to find my perfect role soon. I feel it. Ever since I found this new script I'm discovering something inside me. A calmness. Enlightenment really. "Alprazolam." That's what it's called. The script I mean. Every month when it's time for my scripts to come in the mail, I'm salivating at the door waiting on the mailman. Well, a few times It was called "Xanax,"
but Drindel says it's the same thing, just that it's the original version. Tomorrow I have an audition. I guess I'll be writing about that in my next entry. I'm a little nervous, but I'll bring "Alprazolam" with me to help calm my nerves. I've already done it about ten times today...
Great commentary! Can't wait until the next one.