It's bigger than you!

in #writing2 years ago

Alright, Hive! It’s late but I owe myself an hour to sit here in bed, decompress and get a freewrite on the blockchain before I go to sleep. I’ve been reflecting on some of my personality traits that I really want to improve. The most obvious of which, is my inability to relax; to overbook, overwork and overcommit myself until I feel like I’m being pulled in a dozen directions, only giving 20% [or less] to the many areas of my life that need attention. I identified that, and attempted to change the pattern by taking a friend up on her offer to allow me and @guthrie to spend the weekend at her Airstream camper in Northern Minnesota.

Until the zero hour, @guthrie was going to stay with his half brother. I let him sleep over our place the night before. Friday morning, we were about to leave. I took the boys to Momo sushi, my favorite lunch spot in NE Minneapolis. It’s crazy, but I was granted custody of @guthrie when he was only a year old. His brother’s dad has had custody of his boys for just as long, and over the last 10 years, we’ve keep them together, hanging out almost every weekend or so. I found this old picture of me with both boys from around 2012! The same near-grown ups eating sushi.

From there, we stopped at 12 Vultures. @guthrie has been there but I thought his brother would enjoy the oddities and taxidermy. Adam, the owner, allowed me to shoot in his space about a month ago. After the shoot, we were talking skulls and one in particular has been living in my head since. I’ve been manifesting how I could come up with the $2,000 to buy it, so until HIVE hits $10, I’ve been ruminating my financial situation to at least put a down payment on the one I want. Collecting human totems isn’t for everyone but I already have a home for this 300 year memento mori in my office.

@guthrie did come with me in the end. We made the hour drive, and arrived at the camp site. All the trailers looked the same, and I missed my friend’s lot. I was on a winding one way path and while trying to back up in to her driveway, I was hyper-focused on not hitting her neighbors shed. This would be a terrible miscalculation on my part as I missed the small tree right behind me. I backed up in to it, crumpling the entire hatch of my brand new Tesla Model Y. No idea how much the repair to this damage will be or long it’ll take, but not a great way to start the vacation.

Things didn’t improve immediately. My friend forgot to mention that the camper didn’t have running water because of a plumbing issue and unbeknownst to her, it was also out of propane. I had to make a 36 mile drive […in my newly damaged car] to the nearest Target and buy a $200 air fryer just to cook some of the food I brought on the trip. There was no WiFi, which is fine, as I intended to tether to my phone’s hot spot, but there was also no cell service at all. Normally, that would have been a benefit, but I had to submit an EOS proposal on Pomelo by Sunday.

I did manage to make the proposal with another 25 mile drive to the nearest Starbucks. There wasn’t much cooking in the Airstream, but @guthrie had far more fast food than I was comfortable with. I watched him play his new Jurassic World game on the PS5 that we brought along. We watched Deadpool and Deadpool 2 […I’ve withheld both of them for a few year until he was a little older], and tried to make the most of it. The silver lining for me was that I slept better both nights than I have in months. Not sure what, but that isn’t insignificant.

We got home tonight and he immediately said he missed the Airstream. My friend gave me a key and said we can come back any time during the season, and @vermillionfox is visiting friends in LA in just over a week. Who knows. Maybe we will. I always think of my legacy having something to due with art, but reflecting on this weekend, it’ll actually be through him and how he remembers me. He was happy, the entire time, eating sugar cereal out of a deli cup. I somehow managed to shield him from the frustration, anger and sadness I was going through, which is how it should be.

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Ouch, it sounds like it was rough start to the trip, but it ended up good after all. I was a bit nervous when we took our two nieces to the UP a couple weeks ago. I wasn't sure they were quite ready for so much isolation. It was a blast though and they had a good time. Being able to spend time with them was the most important thing.

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You always have a crazy story to tell when you go up north!

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