At the start of this week I sat down to write a poem about pencils. Not the most inspiring of subjects perhaps, but as they say, inspiration can be found anywhere just so long as you care to look. Why not look to the writer’s tool itself, sitting uncelebrated in my hand for so long. Surely that’s as worthy as a blade of grass? So I wrote my poem about pencils, letting it take me where it would. And then I sat there staring at it for a long, long time. This is what came out:
the pencil blunts,
the poet’s
lamentation
softens, gets to grip
with how thick
lately
words don’t come
as sharp
as they did once,
at an announcement
of intent, arrival,
graphite crumbling;
it can be so hard
to even find the pencil
in the first place
I’d been trying to avoid it for several weeks, but the realisation then was obvious - I’m in a rut. Blocked harder than a U-bend on Boxing Day. Or, and this feels closer to the mark, essentially fatigued. It’s been difficult to come to terms with because as a rule I don’t really believe in writer’s block, the bogeyman crouching in every aspiring artist’s wardrobe. It’s much too easy to invoke as an excuse for laziness, procrastination, or just a straight up lack of ideas.
The problem is I still have plenty of ideas waiting to be worked out. However, for whatever reason, they keep on refusing to reveal themselves. The fog descends and inevitably I end up slamming shut the the notebook or laptop in despair. In the few instances where I do arrive at something complete, the result is always incoherent, or as in the above example, an exercise in self-critique. There’s only so much I can write about the inability to write and unfortunately that’s the only subject that seems to occupy my mind these days.
This week has been pretty hectic for me overall, hence my absence here on Steemit. Moreover, for the reasons outlined above, I’ve basically run out of things to post. I’d hoped that a week off would get me back into the proper headspace for writing again but that hasn’t happened. Supplies are running low, the workers are on strike, and now I’m resorting to awful trade union analogies just to keep this post afloat. It won’t do in the slightest.
Despite the many gaping holes in this platform which I’ve become aware of as the weeks go by (I’ve just caught up with @jerrybanfield’s latest meltdown - wow) I still want to remain a part of the community here. The struggling band of creators who actually make this place worth its bandwidth need supporting, and I want to keep providing that support in whatever small way I can, be it financially or otherwise. Part of me is also stubbornly refusing to accept that this blog will become yet another gravestone among the countless others who tried, exhausted themselves, shook their heads then moved on to pastures new. I’ve done it before and it’s only ever been a source of regret.
This type of block is not unfamiliar to me and will eventually fade, though perhaps not for weeks, or even months. In truth it has more to do with my mental state at this time and little to do with the technicalities of writing - this, in my experience, has remained more or less constant. Energy, confidence, and direction, on the other hand, often seem elusive. But I digress. I’m going to be uploading a few more ‘full length’ pieces I feel happy with, at which point this blog will go into low-intensity mode.
Ironically, it may actually result in me posting more often than I have since I first arrived here. The quality of the posts will, I hope, remain more or less the same, although they will be much shorter in length and scope. Micro-poems, photos, casual writes, and perhaps the odd rant here and there, rather than full length pieces. Whenever the fog lifts, and the bogeyman can be safely shepherded back into the depths of the wardrobe, I will return to my regular schedule. In the meantime, I look forward to catching up with everyone’s recent uploads and reading the many more still to come.
locked i usually move on to one of my other talents and let it rest. I never had writer block or difficulties until the poetry challenge there is raised it's ugly head a few times ... but i do have painters block a lot once foe over 10 years ..now it has been about 6 but i am itching to try again even with my messed up body ... what other talents can you revert to ?
P.S everybody is referring to J.b meltdown i totally missed it what happened ?
Steem is extremely low, but it has nothing to do with what's happening on the platform Steemit itself, it's tied to Bitcoin that crashed enormosly and took with itself all the other crypto, that is all. My account value used to be 120 dollars, now it's about 78, maybe less, so you can imagine what happened with whales...
But! Maybe and more likely it's temporary and the market will get back to normal, when big guys from Wall Street decide to finally enter the crypto market, of course they wouldn't do it when BTC costs 20 000, they better do it when it's 5 000 )))) everything that is happening is planned by big players... that's my guess
I'd love to start posting music here although as I don't have any recording equipment at the moment, or funds to purchase any, it seems like that might be quite a ways off! Hopefully in a few months, just not sure what to post in the meantime, haha. I'll muddle through :)
JB posted some odd stuff to his blog which got him deranked and blacklisted by a load of witnesses and bots. Long overdue but still just a drop in the ocean I think...
all my new stuff is done on half dead gen 2 ipad and my laptop. No extra mic no nada ...you can do this :D
I liked your poem above. The idea of writing about what your writing with, and where it ends up. Very creative.
Your thoughts remind me a bit of when I run into someone on the street I know, haven't seen in a long while, and cannot remember their name. The harder I try, the further it gets from the tongue. I think writing must be a bit like that. And poetry must be even worse. The harder you try, the more you want it, the worse it gets. My first thought was to go to @mariannewest 's freewrite, an jump-start ideas with that timer. But on second thought, you are a grand writer, and writing seems different to me than poetry. In writing, you can just sit down and 'start writing', and at least something often comes out. As it does not always have to end up as a final piece, like a poem, that makes sense. But poetry stands alone within itself, and if it is just 'talk', is nothing more than just that. Does that make any sense? Seems my idea is kind of rambling about like some of my freewrites. But they seem to me to be different animals in the altogether.
Whatever the case, seems to me if you just write non-poetry for awhile, whatever moves you, about life, etc, the creative process will re-ignite in the direction you desire. Like a whit cat, ignore it, before you know it, you've got more hair on your black pant-legs than the innards of a feather pillow.
I hope you are wrong about the site, as I love it here, but who knows. Just time to keep on keepin on. I DO think many people are SO busy with summer right now, combined with the decreased value, it's gotten pretty quiet. But I suppose I'm no different, I'm not posting as much. Too much to do right now outside the site. And as you know, writing something of at least minor quality, takes a lot of time. Well, I've filled a notebook here. Have a nice restathe weekend.
Heya, thanks for checking in :) Poetry can definitely feel like a beast unto its own - I've started so many pieces and, like you say, they basically just come out like 'talk', all ideas and no style. It's a fine line to walk and I guess I'm a little off balance at the moment.
I do write fiction on and off as well and have dipped into the freewrites on occasion, although even that has been a bit difficult as of late. I end up staring at the prompt for ages and then just giving up, haha. Everybody's their own worst critic and I suppose I've been a bit harsh on myself. Just going to take things slow for now and maybe try some different things.
I can relate to the cat comment all too well, haha, I have an all-white one and the Summer moult has been fierce this year ;)
I'm still quietly hopeful for Steemit, maybe more so for the underlying currency itself and not necessarily this platform... Hope you're having a good Sunday!
So true. I'm no poet, but do have several short, humor poems I'm 'dabbling about with' to go with a couple photos, that have been on the burner for months. Definitely a horse of another hoof compared to writing, when it comes to finishing something up with any hint of panache anyone would want to read. I'm hoping sooner or later, some inspiration will fall out of the sky and bonk me on the creative noggin. I hope.
Seems you would be an excellent writer of story....as you say, maybe try that until it starts falling from the sky again.
I'm hopeful for all aspects of Steemit. I think it's a large part of my creative life right now. And money is always nice to have.
Look, Lazarus, you wrote a whole nice post about not being able to write ) that's what you should probably do - to be natural, to not force yourself to do this or that.
I soooooo understand what you mean by just not being able to write although the ideas are there waiting to be put into realisation, it happens to me all the time... I bought two sets of Matryoshka dolls last summer, guess how many of them I've painted?)) just one))) it's beautiful, but it's 1/10 of two sets )))) that's not the single example, haha, I stop doing something for the reason of being not into it for 100% - my huge project "Russian From Scratch" that would feel like being present in a classroom (an hour long videos, something I've never done before), I could have started months ago, but something prevents me from it, so I do something else - looking at your and other steemians writings, reading, drawing, singing ))) hahaha, and you're analysing yout "block", which is also a way of doing something else!
<3
Thanks for the encouragement Katya - I'm basically just going to go into casual mode for a while, haha. I get so serious about all this sometimes, it's probably worth taking a proper breather.
I'd love to see the completed dolls whenever you get around to finishing them, or even just a single one by itself! Those big projects can be so daunting, it's hard to even start sometimes. Hopefully we will overcome together :)
We sure will, Lazarus! Haha, here is the one little Matryoshka from the whole set, that I managed to finish painting ))
I pain them in different Russian traditional styles of ornaments, this one is called Gorodets, look (CC0 wikipedia, ahahaha)
Awesome, nice work! Loving the flower details and I can see the resemblance there to the Gorodets style. I had a set of Matryoshkas as a kid, from one of my Grandparents I think - when I thought of Russia, they were always the first thing that came to mind, haha. It makes me smile for some reason, talking to a real life Russian years later, who actually designs them :D
I like the pencil poem, and I think Steem will turn around. Bitcoin just continues to define everything. You did well expressing yourself today, many share that struggle. Take care.
Thanks mate, glad you got something out of the poem at least :) As for Steem and Steemit... some days I think it's destined for greatness, others I just can't shake the feeling it's all going to end in tears. It feels a lot like MySpace or Bebo (if you remember that) in the pre-Facebook days.