"They say bread is the most powerful."
"Yer Daft man no it isn't. It's freckin bread for Pete's sake. Stupid yank."
"Have you ever seen a bread master fight before? Better yet a true yeast master? Dude they could make whole buildings rise! Venice, Italy is an entire city as proof positive."
"Wut nonsensical nonsense is this yer spouting off about. Ain't no such thing ever happened. They're buildings built ontopa other buildings man."
"It's in the Tome Of Pang De La Rosa and the Philosphers of Rin."
"OH! The wee Philosophers of Rin and who can forget Pang De La Rosa."
"Ok, I'll prove it too you. Right here, right now."
Ken Kaniff from Connecticut reached into his faded jeans and from his right pocket pulled out what appeared to be a very fine beige powder.
"Wut the hell is that supposed to be?"
"Yeast."
"Ya got to be freckin kidding me! What, did yer grammy rub her pits together to get ya enough powder", Red said as he laughed himself onto the wet concrete outside Dabi's Pub.
"See that car over there?"
"Ya I see it. So wut."
"I'm going to make it rise."
"Ok I tell ya wut. If ya do that then I'll give you my Tome on Fire magic. Ya know the great big one with the shiny lass in the center. Shes a real beaut that one."
"Done."
Ken quickly walked over towards a Ford Pickup and sprinkled some yeast under each tire while reciting "Dumbledore Rumbledore Potters and Pants make this car rise like dough."
Sixty seconds passed and nothing happened.
"Maybe yer supposed to say it in Latin? Ya most magick is best said in Latin", Red said with a grin.
"No I've done this once before and I could've sworn it was this way."
"Oh well no harm done. But since ya made me weight for nuthing then dinners on ya...or should I say break fast?"
"Dammit", Ken said under his breath.
"Stop bein so hard on yer self. Comma on lets get some break fast."
"Well back to the drawing board I guess?"
"Ahkkkic! Now that's the spirit lad."
Red and Ken made it half a block away when they heard a loud rumble and could feel the vibrations up the street on Pilsner way. They ran towards the parking lot. Where Dabi's Pub once stood was a mass of white fluffy bread propping up every one's favorite watering hole.
"Yeah ya know that book I promised ya? I take it back."
"What? No. You can't take it back. That's not how this works."
"Well there's no proof ya did any of this lad."
"The hell you say there's no proof. It's staring you right in the face my Scottish friend."
"First no one's gonna believe ya and second there ain't gonna be no proof. Ya know as well as I do that we gotta get rid of her."
"Her?"
"Ya the magic. It's a she."
"Right yeah, ok. Why do we have to get rid of her again?"
"The counsel... they'll strip us like sheep and then feed us to the Gorgatcha."
"How do you know that?"
"Did it to my uncle Timbo."
"You acknowledge that Bread is real magic and then I'll dispose of it. If not then...you can forget it."
"Yer crazy but I like that. Ok, fine."
"Fine, what?
"Ya gonna make me say it?"
"You're damn, right."
"It's real, it's real ok? Ya happi now?"
"See. And that's why I choose bread."
----END-----
This one was a word prompt on reddit I did some time ago. I found it comical and even if no one thinks so, it still makes me laugh. Unfortunately I couldn't think of a good title for it.
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Thanks Mr. Robot. Tis the place I have buried many a story. I hope that they can find new life here on steemit. But alias you're but a bot and I a man. Good night to you cheetah. :P Also I sincerely hope it's not a cardinal sin around these parts.