A letter to my neighbour

in #writing7 years ago

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                                Enough With Your Rotten Gerbils and Tall Sound-proofing
                            
        Dear Ms Wilson,

I have always felt elated living near to you. You are the most aggressive neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud music.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your gerbils is too rotten and your sound-proofing way too tall. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a paint brush

I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud music from upsetting me. I demand that you varnish the fence then paint the fence.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your loud music increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a peaceful neighbourhood like Little Oaks.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the fire brigade and post photos of your loud music on Twitter.

Furthermore, I have close ties with thugs and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
memeon

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