I'm still figuring out where I'm going with this. I have the skeleton of a story sketched out in my mind, but 'getting there' is the journey at the moment.
Please note: This is the FIRST DRAFT, no editing, written straight onto paper. I don't know how to highlight that any more than it is. I'll NOT be making any alterations to what's already been written. As a good friend and excellent author has said, First draft is a race to get the story down before it decides to stop telling itself to you. Thanks Glenn. @alienbutt
110 pages, 46,500 words so far.
The cover image needs work (thanks everyone for the feedback, please keep commenting) and I'll get it sorted soon. Things are still hectic with family in hospital etc so stories etc have to come second-place in the priorities race.
Images from Google Free to use Search unless otherwise stated
The team left from the back fire exit and moved around the back of the buildings – the opposite to what would normally have been expected. They headed for the back of the queue – much the same as the group of arrogant wannabes had on pre-opening night.
Joe and his team went first, with Zack and Taylor at the rear. The group went fast without running and as they rounded the corner onto the street, they slowed to a more relaxed pace, exuding self-assured confidence.
To Zack and Taylor’s surprise, not only had they expanded in number, but the group was no longer close to the back. The club had not yet opened the doors, so the queue should not have been moving. Yet there they were, almost a dozen men, close to the front of the line.
Joe looked back to Zack to check the group were still in line. Zack nodded confirmation and Joe looked again. One group, all male, not chattering and bantering like every other group in the line, moved forward another few paces, leaving behind disgruntled genuine customers.
“Can you step out of the line, please?” Joe said as he drew alongside what appeared to be the ringleader.
The man looked him up and down and dismissed him. He turned away from Joe, and spoke quietly to his entourage.
Joe lifted his chin, stretched his neck and adjusted his shoulders.
“Can you step out of the line please?” Joe said again.
The man that had turned his back on Joe turned around to face him. “No, mate. I’m queueing up and I don’t want to lose my place.”
“Fair enough,” Joe said. “May I see your tickets?”
“Not got tickets, we’ll pay on the door,” the man said.
“Unfortunately, it’s ticket only this evening. You’re wasting your time queueing,” Joe said.
“Yeah, I know,” one of the entourage said. “We’re waiting for a friend. He’s bringing the tickets. There’s been a problem with his printer. He’s on his way right now.”
The group laughed at Joe’s polite and patient manner. Zack watched. Joe was playing it calm and cool, for the moment.
“Step out of the line please,” Joe said. “Ticket downloads have been suspended. The tickets your friend is trying to print won’t be coming.”
One of the other men in the group turned to the group behind him. “Have you got your tickets?” he asked. The mixed group of young people backed away from him. One shook his head and the guy made a grab for the younger man.
The queue behind the disruption set up cries of protest as the group backed off further. Sonja beckoned to the mixed group and they stepped out of line. She placed them behind her as the group of queue-jumpers turned to face the door team.
Joe’s team spread out on either side of their head doorman and the queue backed off in both directions. Phones were brought out and set to record footage of the impending fight.
Zack spoke into his radio. “Open the doors and let the first people in,” he said. “When you get to the ones Joe is dealing with, close the doors. Don’t leave anyone outside, but if anyone is without a ticket, keep them back. Do not allow any of them up the stairs into the club before opening time.”
“Got it, boss,” Crackers replied.
The doors opened and the crowd of people at the front abandoned their attempt at videoing a fight that may or may not happen in favour of getting into the club early.
The group of queue-jumpers didn’t notice at first and Sonja herded the queue backwards, out of range of trouble.
Crackers got the queue into the club reception to safety and closed the doors again.
Joe nodded towards the doors. “That’s it for tonight, lads,” he said. “The club is closed where you’re concerned. Move along please.”
The ringleader looked behind him. He’d been so preoccupied with the confrontation that he hadn’t noticed he was no longer in the middle of a queue.
The wind had been taken from his sails and he had no other options left. He swung at Joe like a practiced boxer, but the shorter, heavier Joe stepped aside like a gymnast, avoiding the blow with an agility that surprised the attacker and his entourage.
A muttering started behind the ringleader and he turned to snarl at them. “He’s one fucking man,” he said. “There’s enough of us to sort them all out.”
Now, this is getting interesting! Looks like Taylor and Zack's team are prepared for the worst...
I agree. I enjoy how @michelle.gent is able to describe the action and characters with such visual words. I can see the action.
Thank you both!
I wrote a couple of tasks on people-watching. It's a skill (if I do say so myself) but it's pretty useful if you have the patience.
I'll develop a task for the mentorship group for you to have a go at if you like?
michelle, good story of life. awesome article.
Nice Story i like this story so great and amazing story
wow great post brother @michelle.gent thanks for sharing with us
nice stroy of life,your writing skill is realy good,upvote done
Good story about life. I hopw you will share more stories like this. This story is very intresting. Thanks for sharing
I suggest you MUTE me because every time you comment without upvoting, I'll flag you.