Ivanka: Priebus is sacked so now I have to say his boring lines to set Steve up. Igoe is so fucking lazy.
Bannon: He deserves a sharp thump. God willing we'll all live to see that someday.
Igoe: Lookit that'll never happen because there's no justice to be had at all. Nobody is happy with this situation and yizzer the last shower I want to be looking at. It's a developing situation but all as matters is my intellectual property is after being violated.
Bannon: It is true that you own the rights to my name and likeness in perpetuity in Europe and several key emerging markets.
Igoe: I couldn't have phrased it in a more legally binding way myself. It was hard work defining your likeness and the general gait of ye.
Bannon: You haven't changed at all.
Igoe: Thanks.
Ivanka: Do I get a raise out of this?
Igoe: You'll be on the same pay scale as Priebus adjusted for gender with a bonus for having a name I don't need to google how to spell. Who else is still on the roster?
Bannon: Pence?
Ivanka: I'm not sure he actually exists.
Pence: We'll see who exists in 2020.
Igoe: Chelseas. Manning and Clinton.
Bannon: Christ. It's a fucking long life sometimes isn't it?
Igoe: Quite. What are you gonna do about this Mooch thing?
Bannon: What does that be?
Igoe: He made some rather incendiary remarks about you. Damaging the brand you see. I need you to put him in his place.
Bannon: What brand and incendiary how?
Igoe: I'm not saying it on Facebook. People could be having their tea.
Bannon: Whisper it to me so ye tedious Bréifne gypsy.
Igoe: <...>
Bannon: The fuck? Sure I wouldn't be fit to...
Ivanka: I think it was intended metaphorically.
Bannon: It'd wreck me back. This sounds like wunna them things Igoe would dream up to torment me. He's a very negative person.
Ivanka: He writes sick Steve Bannon fan fiction.
Igoe: Pardon?
Bannon: There's no such thing as a Mooch that does be goin around sayin things like that about me. Also a strong case could be made that this is veering toward fan fiction.
Pete Doherty: Igoe is an wordsmith of the highest calibre and he'd not stoop to fan fiction. Is it hot in here or is it just me?
Ivanka: Pete Doherty? Seriously?
Igoe: Father John Misty then or whatever.
Ivanka: I'd ruin him so I would.
Kushner: Totally.
Bannon: I too would 'hit' that.
Pence: Hell would be a small price to pay. I'd say he's some hole on him.
Mooch: Agreed. Although I'm not religious myself.
Bannon: Is that a fact?
Mooch: I think there could be, like, a multiverse? And then imagine the imponderables that could be on the next stratum above that!
Pence: The possibilities test the limits of the human imagination. It could be a spiteful white man for example.
Bannon: I like the idea of a descending series of turtles myself.
Mooch: Turtles are my spirit animal!
Bannon: I got a sense of that when I was lookin into yer eyes and sneakin a shly screw at yer soul.
Ivanka: This is a lovely spiritual conversation and points to Steve for alliteration.
Bannon: We have grand deep chats when Igoe is gone.
Mooch: Where did he go?
Ivanka: He probably went to the shop without bothering to ask if anybody wanted anything.
Mooch: I didn't even know it was socially acceptable to do that.
POTUS: That's cos it's not. It's the height of rudeness and he does it on purpose. Do you know what it is that I always say?
Civility.
Costs.
Nothing.
Ivanka: Father speaks sparingly and the wise hearken gladly unto him. That'd be a wholesome lesson to use as an ending.
Bannon: It'd be an unassuming, respectable ending; the way it would foreground a simple point of etiquette easily forgotten.
Mooch: People often lose track of what really matters in this life.
Igoe: They were lettin on they'd no fuckin Red Bull in the Shpar again. They hide it out of spite and envy of my dark joy. Everybody covets my thoughts. They'd open my head to get at the pure poison. Hoors. How's this battle royale comin along? Is Bannon winning?
Bannon: It was a fierce close thing, full of terrible blood curdling swearing and shallow sneering.
Igoe: Great guns. People do give likes for that sort of thing. It's the easiest kind of amusing. I'll let Mooch have the last word on this auspicious occasion on account of how he's new here.
Mooch: Cunt.
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