This is post 18 in @dragosroua's January 30 day writing challenge.
A Trip Down Memory Lane - My First 'Internet' Published Story
I did have a plan to publish the next Ramble On instalment today, and keep it to each Thursday. I will have to skip this week, and finish today's story for next week though. For the last 24 hours I have been a bit under the weather, and today even more so. I had a little bit left on the post I intended to share, but it wont be getting finished today.
So instead, I have decided to share a story which I wrote almost ten years ago and entered into an online competition run by the website 365 tomorrows. It did get runner up status, which surprised me, and for a time I even forgot it existed out there in the internet wilderness. Having found it again, as an example of where I was at writing-wise at that time, I thought I would fill in today's gap, and share my first internet writing experience.
I offer this not as an example of good writing (because it isn't all that good, but is okay), but as an example of progress made, as well as showing a a continuing theme in my writing.
Reality Fading
It ended as it always was. Just me with my thoughts bidding farewell to the only friend I really knew. At least he was the only one who really knew me.
There was no grave site. No urn to hold his burnt remains. No, there was just my memories of my friend, which will fade in time I guess. He told me they would. He told me they always do. How do you let go of something you have held onto for so long?
My shrink said it was just a faze. It will pass, it had to.
“These drugs are designed for your condition” he told me. He never told me what that condition was.
“But I don’t want to lose my friend.”
My shrink didn’t understand. It was his job to not understand. My family, they just wished I would grow up and be normal.
Sometimes I feel I was born into the wrong body. Or perhaps the wrong time. Or perhaps the wrong place. But I once found the place for me. My friend took me there.
“Did I tell you about the time he took me to his home?” My shrink gave me that look. The look that says ‘what am I to do with you’. What he did was up the dosage. He always did. It cost me my friend.
It’s not my shrinks fault. I was just born into the wrong body. Or perhaps the wrong time. Or was it the wrong place? Ah yes, there was that other place. His place. He took me there once. I tried to tell others about it. No one would listen. No one listens when they think you’re crazy. My friend, well he listened. He took me home, to his place.
To his world. A world of lights and movement. And buildings. I’ve never seen so many buildings. And they pierced the sky. It was just so beautiful. I know, I was there. I didn’t dream it.
The drugs tell me I did. My shrink tells me I did. My family tell me I did. But I didn’t. And now it’s starting to fade.
He told me it would.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you liked it then please like, comment, and follow.
@naquoya
 |  |
|---|---|
Links to earlier works
- Fiction
My Fiction Writing Collection
Writing Myself Out of Existence
When the Levee Breaks
- Blog Posts
Notes #1 - #39 - Notes From An Amateur Writer Collection
Notes #40 - Read, Write, and Face the Future
Notes #41 - What Are Some Of Your Favourite Books?
Notes #42 - Website Review: Fiction University
Notes #43 - Seeking a Community Of Writers
Notes #44 - What Are Some of Your Favourite Characters?
Notes #45 - When Madness Came Knocking
Notes #46 - Why Do I Write?
-Ramble On (Humour based travel blog)
Introducing My New Travel Blog
Making a Deal With the Devil
-Poetry
This was a beautiful piece. No wonder it ranked! I remember you telling me that you haven't won anything, but I don't consider being a runner-up as a loss. It still holds distinction against every other entry (well, except for one). This kind of gave serious chiasmus vibes, and I like how you were able to wrap everything together. You've really come a long way from your roots, mate. Sorry to hear the weather has you down. Don't forget to drink that ginger tea. Feel better!
I had forgotten about this one when I mentioned lack of prizes, although I think I meant at Steemit specifically. So this is probably my highest ranking story. I had better try to make up for that. I am hoping to get a story published. That is my goal for 2018. So to me that would be better than a prize.
And yes, love the ginger tea.
You're on the right track!
Thanks for sharing
It's good. Runner up is a fine position to achieve too. I always like stories that evoke a different dimension/reality/understanding kind of thing
Well thank you for saying so. I remember throwing this together at the time not really knowing what I was doing, but feeling it was at least readable. To get runner up was also a plus. I wonder what it would be like fully developed? Another project to put on the list.
You gotta have that list. It's great to rework something that had something there I always think
Thanks for the support. It may very well happen.
I thought that was pretty good :) Well done on getting runner up! Hope you're all better by the time you read this :)
Thanks, glad it appealed to you. I suppose it wasn't bad, just underdone, although I had forgotten when I posted this yesterday that there actually had been a word count restriction. So I can see now why it appears a little bare.
Oh this was such a lovely story. I don't know about most people, but some of us have our special friends who take us to places, far and wide and beyond the reach of anybody else. Not everyone understands this, but those who do know how special that is. :)
Yes, glad you understand :)
I remember that this story just flowed at the time that I wrote it. The idea of 'that' friend and his special world - one that only I could see, until it was removed. It all seems so natural, and right. This is the world of the artist, I think. The land of imagination.
Yeah the land of imagination is great, but for some time, I have stopped going there often because it sometimes take me to places that I don't want to be in for long and sometimes to places that I don't want to leave ever and if the latter happens, I find myself spending only time with myself and that isn't good for my son now that I am a mommy so I focus more on staying in the present now :)
It is great, until it clashes with our need to deal with the land of balance, or reality. I get you. I do like to make little side trips there from time to time.
I hope you feel better soon. Don't let the pressure of Steemit posting get to you. It is self imposed, or so I try to tell myself all the time. The story is clearly you and it deserved its runner up place. Since then you've added a few layers.
Yes, it is self imposed. I'll be okay. Just overly tired. I love writing and interacting here, but sometimes one needs to just rest. Easier said than done though.
The story is me, isn't it. i thought the same thing when I reread it again. But to me this is bare bones. Be interesting to see it if I rewrote it as the writer I am today.
This was a great pairing to the Philip Dick stories I've been watching on Amazon - It would fit right in.
Hope you feel better soon.
You made my day mentioning a story of mine in the same sentence as Philip K Dick. It's a flattering comparison, gladly accepted :)
Thank you.
You shouldn't have been surprised to have gotten runner up. That is an incredible short. You packed a lot of meaning into a minimal number of words. That is not easy to do. Exceptionally well done.
Thank you, I'm glad you think so. I suppose my issues with this story is it is quite bare. But then I think there was a serious word count limit as part of the rules, so perhaps that explains it. I appreciate the feedback.
I agree with the others here. It's good, and I'm sure it the runner up prize was well earned. You said plenty in a few words, and it flows well. I enjoyed it.
Thank you, this is appreciated. I do remember being happy with the story at the time, and being a little surprised with the runner up status, but it does have the basis of a decent tale. Thanks for sharing your feedback.
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by naquoya from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: 50SP, 100SP, 250SP, 500SP, 1000SP, 5000SP.
Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.
I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling a bit off today, @naquoya. But it was nice that you shared this little piece. I can see from it that you have improved with practice! That's a great feeling, isn't it? I recognize the theme, and find that I like your thoughts more and more as I get to know you. Your writing on this kind of theme is fascinating and intriguing.
I've upvoted and resteemed this article as one of my daily post promotions for the @mitneb Curation Trail Project. It will be featured in the @mitneb Curation Trail Project Daily Report for 18 JAN 2018.
Cheers!
Just a little worn out, but I'll be fine. More rest is needed. Perhaps it always is! I have progressed, haven't I. Whilst this is bad, I see positive change over the years. It was nice to reminisce a little with this story. And yes there is a strong thematic lineage showing itself here.
Thank you for your great comment, and for sharing my work with your audience. Always appreciated.
I look forward to going through your blog! This was well deserved of runner up! I’m at work now, shhh ... tis Friday afternoon! Now I have some reading for tonight! @naquoya I’m looking forward to it @steemsausage
Thank you for saying so. There's a lot to read, but I appreciate you taking a look around. All the best.
Very good post @naquoya, I really liked it,Thanks for sharing.
@racoo
Thank you.
Interesting!
Thank you.