The first paragraph starts off pretty good. At last, Diana has a personality and it's known to the readers. Good job there. She even communicates with animals too. 🙂
Go get a room and stop burning up the building with the sizzling tension” he said, laughing at them as he sauntered past.
Lovely control of the English language. Loved how you ignored the easy way out on this. While you could have easily used an adverb like he walked away slowly, 'sauntered' better gives us a visual of how it he walked. Which I think, enriches this story. Still reading...
You have a really cool way of getting your audience glued. Before reading this, I had to scroll all the way to the bottom and exhaled 'damn, that's pretty long". But I didn't realize is read to the end. And I must find out what happens next! We have to see them kiss!
You darl, are a writer.
Oh Wisdom! You absolutely made my month with this! It means I have grown since joining Steemit! You and @greenrun pushed me to become better with your constructive criticism (Onequality writer's den). Thank you both so much for everything! #hugssssss