The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you. - Stephanie Perkins
I am feeling the need for a bit of a ramble, get some things off my chest and to just talk about life! For some time I have been feeling a little 'different', a shift perhaps. I remember being told by a woman I used to work with that with age comes confidence, in that moment, what she was referring to was having the ability to simply ignore and not tolerate bullshit! I can say with confidence that I have jumped well and truly over that hurdle! I simply do not have the space for drama, especially those 'energy vampires'- one of lifes most venomous bites!
Since that time, 6 years have passed and on reflection I can say that she was right! Of course in this example, it was work related, however it has definitely been applied to every facet of my life since. I have noticed it A LOT in myself over the last year or two, perhaps this is why I feel kind of 'different', my outlook has changed, my thinking has changed and I've never felt more ALIVE!
Throughout my life I've always felt that I 'didn't fit' (and now, as my adult self, I am VERY much ok with that!). I have always felt older than those who are of the same age as me, and even those who actually are older than me! Ever since I can remember I was forever being told 'you are far too old beyond your years' haha! I have my own ideas as to why this is which go back to my childhood. I guess I didn't really feel like much of a kid the majority of the time, being forced into situations that are not the place for a child, not for anyone, and when I did interact with others it was mainly with older kids, I suppose I saw them as being 'free' and not having to answer to anyone, which looking back, is all I wanted.
The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned. - Maya Angelou
Life is not black and white, nor are we meant to fit neatly placed inside a box with a bow on top! I can't speak for everyone but if there's one thing I'm not good at it's conformity! I have made choices that many disagree with, and I accept that. I am an 'out the box' sort after all! Everyone is entitled to freedom of thought, just as everyone is free to make the choices they want! However, creating perceptions based on MISCONCEPTIONS of others and there situations without any clarification (or thought for anyone else other than themselves) seems to be the 'trend'. Despite what some may say, we as individuals do not need approval or permission to live our own TRUTH, because ultimately, how is that any different to the already corrupt world we live in! But I know... we can't please everyone!
Too many are under the illusion that they hold power over what happens in OTHER people's lives, and what's concerning is just how many become blind to it, or even worse, accepting of it. That, to me, is not living, that's merely existing, what is the point of having your OWN life if you do not live it the way YOU want, because everything else is just politics...isn't there enough stuff ups with that already?! ;)
Probably not the best analogy in the world but I like to think of personal growth like buying a new pair of jeans... put one leg in first, then the other, and as you gradually pull them up you get a sense of the fit, maybe dance your way into them to stretch them out a bit ;) Just as you do with jeans, you do with your own self, in your own skin. Only you can't toss out your skin like you can a pair of jeans. Instead you adapt, embracing your 'worn & torn' layers, and become more comfortable/accepting in your own skin. This is truly knowing WHO you are and WHAT you stand for, and learning to not give a hoot what others think. The road to inner peace!
Only dead fish go with the flow!
I am a firm believer of doing what makes your heart and soul happy. None of us know what tomorrow brings, and I'm sure all of us have experienced (directly or indirectly) the curveballs that life throw, and perhaps some of them have made you realise that we shouldn't take things/people for granted, that we are NOT immortal, and have the right to happiness just as much as the next person. BE YOUR OWN RAINBOW - they are far more beautiful.
Until next time!
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