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RE: Improve your Writing (Showing vs. Telling)

in #writing7 years ago

I felt my stomach rumble and started to get concerned. A few minutes later the rumble was loud enough for others in the room to take notice. As Jane, seated in the desk next to mine, leaned over to ask me if I was okay, another groan came from my tummy immediately followed by that involuntary clench that signals you that you have about 16 seconds to make it to the toilet before all hell breaks loose!
(Wrote this to ensure I remembered your excellent points! Don't worry, I washed my hands first.) Followed