I am thy favourite card game, who rescued thee from times of boredom, out from the grasp of idleness.
Thou shalt have none other card games before me.
Thou shalt not use any other card deck as an alternative to me, nor use any Wizard, Skip-Bo, or Racko decks as a substitute to quench thy boredom:
Thou shalt not play with them, nor even look at them: for I, UNO, King of all card games, am the best and only card game, ending the monotonous cycle of thy parent’s lives and thine own life and the lives of thy future children who play and will play with me.
Thou shalt not call out my name, the great name of UNO, when thou dost have more than one card left in thy hand; for I shalt not hold him beyond reproach that useth my name in an untimely fashion.
Thou shalt impeccably obey the rules as directed in the “How to Play” pamphlet, located in the UNO card case.
Seven cards thou shalt deal to all the players at the start of the game:
But thou art obliged to draw more cards to thy hand in situations dictated in the “How to Play” pamphlet: if one player layeth down a Skip card, the player after him shalt skip his turn. If one player layeth down a Draw 2 card, the player after him shalt draw 2 cards. Likewise, a player shalt draw 4 cards when the opponent before him plays a Draw 4 card. Any of these situations shalt apply to thy sister, thy brother, thy mother, thy father, thy grandparents, thy friends, thy guests, and thy housecleaner, plumber, and electrician, as well as to thyself without exception.
Honour these rules, as the “How to Play” UNO pamphlet hath directed thee; that thy time playing UNO may be prolonged, and that thy opponents shalt not forbid thee to play again because of any misconduct.
Thou shalt not cheat.
Neither shalt thou look at thy fellow player’s cards.
Neither shalt thou throw a temper tantrum when thou dost not win.
Neither shalt thou sabotage the score card.
This piece was written as part of a course that encouraged students to learn from the great writers of the past. We read and imitated pieces by Charles Dickens, Ernest Hemingway, Henry IV, Jonathan Swift, Sojourner Truth, Cicero and others, studying their words and writing our own but in their voice and style. This creative piece is written in imitation of the King James version of the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20.
