Family Upset With Personal Writing Including Them

in #writing7 years ago

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Earlier today I wrote a blog post about domesticating animals which I backed up with a deeply personal experience of living with my dog growing up. She wasn't brought up in the best environment, and I went a bit into detail on that fact. I mentioned that one time my father kicked my dog in a fit of rage, and that my parents "abandoned"/ gave up on taking care of her after the family separated when I graduated high-school. I acknowledge those are both decently harsh subject matters, but keep in mind it is from my childhood as well. After I posted this, my parents came upon the link I shared on Facebook. They were extremely upset with me, acting like I've totally slandered their names and dismissed them as people with any good morals. They said something like, "I wish you cared as much about people as you do for animals." This response shocked me. I thought they were missing the point of the blog and taking it simply as an attack on them. But I am writing from a non-fictional perspective of my past, and I want to be as detailed as I can without deeply offending someone.

With my art, it's always been deeply personal. That's how my mind works. These important, personal experiences from my youth are most of what shaped me to be what I am now. I believe in expression with no barriers, as long as there's no physical harm. People, as adults, are capable to deal with their own feelings and image, and be responsible for the repercussions of their actions... and those repercussions include the publication of them, too. Events, especially meaningful ones, are meant to be shared, like anecdotes. I don't believe in the goodness of witholding past you feel guilty about, keeping it in some secret box and hoping everything will be okay. It is important to confront your issues face-to-face and us them to better yourself.

I understand that my blog didn't outline my family as the most giving, honorable folks, but I know those types of actions aren't uncommon today. I've seen pets treated with much more brute, I've seen my friends' dogs literally abused in yhe past as I idly stand by. I'm not trying to come off like a saint as I libel against my parents. I'm only using my past experiences to form a thesis statement on something I am passionate about... animal rights. In this case, too, I'm a bit upset that they are so focused on seeing it as an attack on them and thinking about how much my words hurt them. Meanwhile, the real subject at hand is a helpless animal who had a majority of it's life locked in a mildly dysfunctional home. And just because the home was dysfunctional, doesn't mean any of us are at fault. It just means that there were problems that need to solved, which we were likely not able to find the answers to. Mistakes are of the past, and his is how we climb from them and learn not to repeat them. I hold no hard feelings against my family for the mistreatment of that dog.

This post is aimed towards a bit of a larger scale but I welcome everyone to comment their input on the subject. What do you think about writing about past experiencs with people, when their actions could be interpreted at wrong? Do you think art is a form of expression with no boundaries?

Ryan Oats, out

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