Abstract:
This compilation aims to provide a synthetic view of the False Positive Individuals and means to identify them. These False Positive individuals drain out the enthusiasm and the workplace objectivity around. False Positive individuals are all around us and are initially difficult to spot. They are honey – tongued and sugar coated individuals who will not yell at you and will neither hurt you, well in open and not initially. These False Positive Individuals have mastered the art of hurting game and savor every bit of this unwanted workplace practice. This behavior of their drains out the positive energy and leave you with little or no energy left to be productive. They hang around you even when they are not around; such is their persona which keeps them alive in your thoughts, never leaving you alone.
False Positive:
Before we dwell deep let’s try to understand what is False Positive. False Positive is a concept derived from the programming world, where an algorithm is written and then fed with data; at some point data bypasses the algorithm that ideally it should have not and this event is termed as False Positive. In yet other words False Positive is a result that indicates a given condition has been fulfilled, when it has not been fulfilled.
False Positive Individuals:
Be warned they are everywhere and before you realize it is getting dirty, well it is already dirty.
“Don’t worry, these things happen all the time”
“I know, I have been through this earlier”
“I would say, wait and watch”
“Everybody has treated me so bad, except you”
“Give it sometime, it will steam off”
“You know, I’m your friend”
“Whatever you say”
“You are just too good, in fact awesome”
And they keep talking forever, all the while in sugary quotes, which we like to hear. They never let you think rationally and keep your energy and thought process channelized in unproductive direction.
Types of False Positive Individuals
• Freeloader – They come with the confidence to get the best out of you and do nothing. And why not who does not want to get the best out of themselves. They do not want to get anything out of you, rather they want to be listened and alternatively taken care of. Once you are in the let-me-get-the-best-of-you story, they start leeching out your potential for their benefit and drain you off your constructive sap.
• Redeemer – They are the dominators and come with sugary punch line “I Know how to save you”. And once you are in it they will ensure you become defenseless and forget the rest; now they are your worst nightmare. They have that psychological charisma to render you defenseless and take the advantage of the situation for their own benefit. I say they are the most dangerous of the kind. They do not have any power of their own, however are good at being in control manipulating your defense mechanism for their benefit.
• Conman – “You are awesome”, they come with this tag line and intend to get something from you. The humbler you are more the vulnerable you become to them. They would mostly be materialistic and focused in extracting the materialistic benefit that you own for their benefit. “You know I am your best friend” and “Anything you say” are yet other luring statements they make to lay the trap; and once you are in it, you are absolutely in it.
• Prey – They are the disguised abuser in their own way. They come along with the tag line “Everybody treated me bad, you are different”. As a matter of fact, they are the ones who get the best of the treatment amongst all, only they never admit it. They always have a sad anecdote to narrate to who-so-ever is willing to listen. The minute you express slightest of interest or sympathy; “please nurse me well” story starts only to never end.
• Cheerleader – They are the one who pat you on your back, however never care for you. When with you they are your best friend only to stab you back at the first opportunity they lay their hands on. They are very good manipulator, and will manipulate your success and your failure for their own benefit, removing you completely out of the equation. They may not always have a sugary tongue however their approach is always sugary. Once under their spell, you start obeying and obliging their requests.
Handling False Positive Individuals
And now your mind would be racing to get answers to the below mentioned questions:
Where do they exist?
Are they chronic?
How to identify one?
What to do with them?
Let’s face the brutal fact that they are everywhere. They are in our family, they are in our social circle, they are in our workplace; they are everywhere. They are parasite sometimes acting as a catalyst to make us feel comfortable under their spell. They are good manipulators and have a charming persona, well at least initially. We also must deal with aggressive people in our life, however they are easier to spot, they are visible, they are loud, they may get violent; all said and accepted however they are honest and easily identifiable. As said, a known enemy is better than an unknown friend, better an unknown False Positive. These False Positive are worse than those who want to hurt you physically. And yes, they are difficult to spot.
It may take days and sometimes even years to just identify them. We need to be aware and vigilant that these False Positives are merely there as we have filtered them in that way. They may not be the same with others as they are to you. You have been trapped as you are vulnerable. And why not somewhere down within even we may be false positive to some degree for someone, knowingly or un-knowingly. It’s how life circles to us. Having said that it does not mean to live with them. We should be able to filter them out and have all the right to live peacefully.
The key is in being able to identify them; and to do so first we need to ensure we are not vulnerable. Other positive way of looking is that, they are pointing on a problem with us, of being vulnerable. If acted prudently, there is an opportunity for us to improve on the vulnerability and come out clean and refined. So apart from being cautious and maintain distance we should not forget that these False Positives are mere tools for us to shape our destiny and be successful.
My last 2 cents in handling these False Positives.
- Professional mentors can play an important role in helping address the vulnerability and guide / handhold us in dealing with these False Positives, if we alone cannot do so.
- Be brave and learn to say No, if that is not in accordance with your conscious.
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Super post