dear friend, I don't want to write, I just want to read! It's because there are so many good writers as you that I don't feel the needed to write, but I have my great pleasure to read. As you wrote " While I was writing the rape scene, I threw up, but now that demon is gone- forever." and this is the things that I would say you yesterday (but I don't had the right words to say it): writing, sometimes, is the way that we have to banish our demons. Sometimes it works, sometimes not, but you have a gift and I really hope that it works for you!
It's working for now, my very dear Silvia, and that's what counts. I think a lot of it is convincing yourself. You don't need to write because you express yourself beautifully through your art... that's your medium of expression. Art "talks" the same way that words do. Today's Night Gods will be much more pleasant- I promise. You'll like this one. I'm starting now so I should have it done (typed & edited) in about an hour or so.