Wow! this story is dark, sinister and speaks of the darkest side of human nature and made me feel more than a little uncomfortable!
And that is awesome!!!
The power of a great story is to paint a picture, set a scene and to provoke strong feelings and stir emotions...You did just that. When I read fiction, I do it to be moved, dragged into the narrative and have my psychology changed in some way...It is an escape from the mundane, ordinary and sometimes stale real world.
I think the thing that underpins the story, the thing responsible for Biancas bad choices, looking for the wrong things in the wrong places and with the wrong people is the role that her underlying and unresolved grief has played.
Yes I read the piece where you say you are not the best writer, that nagging feeling inside us always makes us write that declaration on creative pieces I think. I suspect you may be a better writer than you believe. Don't worry about accepting the compliment...I know many of us suffer the self imposed slings and arrows that make us hard to see our own talents!