Ex-lovers and Friendship;Is it Right or Wrong?

I don't consider myself an insecure person by any means. My wife is the coolest person I have ever known. I am truly blessed but I really thank God for the ability to be open-minded. My wife has male friends - not guys who are secretly plotting against us or anything like that. In college, she became friends with guys who protected her and to this day treat her like a sister. However, I know this isn't always the case.

They say it's hard to find love these days and no doubt we have experienced jealousy. People have walked out of our lives because of our commitment to our marriage and what that entails (not hanging out late, putting family first). Through all of this, her "brothers" have stayed faithful and in contact - I am impressed. I was so used to people walking in and out of my life. My mom passed when I was twenty years old and soon after, my stepfather ceased communication with me. It was cold. I was 20, grieving without any support. Thank God I made it through but not without scars. I became used to being abandoned and would not hold onto to people for fear of that. So, it is a great thing that my wife has friends that love her. They respect me and I respect them. They are good people.

But let's be real about this. There are some guys and girls out there plotting on their friend aka your mate. If you have a solid relationship where you have fun, truly like being around each other and share a lot of things in common, you are going to draw the ire of people. People told us that we changed.

Duh! You have to change - that's part of evolving as a person. You have to grow up and put your priorities first. I think it's silly when people speak down on people who are changing for the better. That's another blog piece to come.

During homecoming, it is like a meat market. Single, 35ish year old women who were once the bees knees during our collegiate years, return to try to holler at the men both single AND taken. I tell no lies. Married people return to homecoming and do their bidding every year. It's like Vegas; what happens there, stays there. It's one of the reasons I don't attend homecoming. I think there's a lot of debauchery that a man who is trying to stay faithful should not be around.

I have female friends too and they all know and respect my wife. I would not have a friend who did not respect my wife but I also know that my female friends aren't trying anything...or at least I think that, right? I mean, I am a catch. Could they possibly wish they could have have me? But that would mean that my wife's male friends could think the same.

Here's a honest question. If you messed up in your relationship and you guys were single again do you all have any friends that you feel would jump at the opportunity to hook up?

Do you trust your mate having friends of the opposite sex? Do you think there are secret motives? What do you think?!

To be honest, I'm a very insecure person. I'm not too big on the whole opposite sex friendships, because I always feel there's a change of attraction there. On the other hand though, I know I can feel simply friendship and nothing else for guys, so it's not always a bad thing. It's just something I can't trust completely. I trust my boyfriend, but I would never trust a female completely to not want to take him away from me. I know she wouldn't succeed, but still. For me, there's also the issue of wanting to enjoy spending time with him and I'd get jealous if another lady is spending time with him while I cannot. And I mean that in a platonic way ofcourse, I'd still feel sad.

Luckily, my man enjoys time together a lot too, so I found my perfect guy to match my personality. He just wants to take me with him everywhere! :-)